Chelsea Handler Quotes

My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.

Chelsea Handler

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Quotes to Explore

• There's never really been a real hood Christmas movie.

  

  Ice Cube
  • Real
  • Movie
  • Christmas

• The fight against child slavery is the fight against traditional mindset, policy deficit, and lack of accountability and urgency for children across the globe.

  

  Kailash Satyarthi
  • Children
  • Child
  • Slavery

• My hat's off to Shonda Rhimes.

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • Hat
  • Off

• I believe that we should be able to marry whom ever we choose. As long as both people are willing... I say go for it!

  

  Fefe Dobson
  • People
  • Believe
  • Long

• By four years of age, the average child in a family receiving public assistance has heard about 13 million words, compared to 45 million for a child from a wealthier family. The disadvantages developed during their first four years are usually still present in high school.

  

  Sal Albanese
  • Family
  • School
  • High

• It's always good to be working.

  

  Ja Rule
  • Good
  • Always
  • Working

• If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Respect
  • Never
  • Confidence

• I never really ate that bad, I just ate too much. It wasn't like I had to switch to whole wheat bread or something like that. I really just had to eat less of what I was eating, and I had to exercise more.

  

  Patrick Stump Fall Out Boy
  • Bad
  • Exercise
  • Eating

• I'm lucky because I remember my dad showing me 'Independence Day,' and I loved it.

  

  Maika Monroe
  • Remember
  • Dad
  • Day

• That's my mentality. Just because somebody has fouled me, there is no reason for me to be nasty to him. I try to respect football as much as possible, and when someone is injured, you put the ball out.

  

  Eden Hazard
  • Respect
  • Football
  • Reason

• Upon graduation, believe it or not, I had no job. I had no interviews. I had no prospects. I had no worries. What I did have, I had passion. I had enormous passion. I had passion for financial markets. I had fallen in love with financial markets.

  

  Gary Cohn
  • Believe
  • Job
  • Passion

• The emphasis on innovation and technology in our companies has resulted in a few of them establishing global benchmarks in product design and development, manufacturing practices and human resource capabilities. However, there is no room for complacency.

  

  Baba Kalyani
  • Technology
  • Design
  • Innovation

• I've always liked to go down a different path. Being a woman of color, I never followed a cookie cutter way.

  

  Halle Berry
  • Different
  • Path
  • Color

• Nothing is more real than nothing.

  

  Samuel Beckett
  • Real

• cries I just want my friend back!

  

  Jack Black
  • Friend

• I think that gay people should have the right to get married by Elvis like everybody else.

  

  Margaret Cho
  • People
  • Gay

• Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

  

  Albert Einstein
  • Small
  • Eyes
  • Feel

• I think a cosmetics company should be headed by a woman.

  

  Leonard Lauder

• My goal was always to be involved in music that would outlive me. And maybe that's actually happening.

  

  Barry Manilow
  • Music
  • Me
  • Goal

• I like the idea of, not shocking people, but just throwing people off. Doing something that makes people go, 'Whoa, whoa, she did that next? Wow, didn't think she was gonna do something like that next.'

  

  Kate Winslet
  • People
  • She
  • Think

• I was definitely considered different growing up. I learned that being me was all right because my family celebrated those differences.

  

  Prabal Gurung
  • Up
  • Different
  • Family

• Myrnin: ‘Have we been introduced?’ Frank: ‘Probably not. Why, you asking me out, sweetheart?’ Myrnin: ‘You’re not my type, darling.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • Why
  • Type
  • Darling

• There is no evil in human affairs that has not some good mingled with it. [It., Non e male alcuno nelle cose umane che non abbia congiunto seco qualche bene.]

  

  Francesco Guicciardini
  • Good
  • Evil
  • Human

• My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.

  

  Chelsea Handler