Chelsea Handler Quotes
I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'
Quotes to Explore
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All I came to Los Angeles with was a dream. No one from my family ever left Ohio.
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The first decent building I did with my own practice was a chapel in Taiwan.
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Through the years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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Don't sell credits; don't sell walk-on roles... If people want to back you, they'll back you. But if you have to entice people will walk-on roles and crazy credits, you're undermining yourself.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Human beings are a social species. We like to hang together in groups, just like wildebeests, just like lions. Wildebeests don't hang with lions because lions eat wildebeests. Human beings are like that. We do what that group does that we're trying to identify with.
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Leaving Egypt and the people I loved so much, and the environment I liked, was definitely worth it, because I also have great love for medicine and science.
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I did a lot of stunts, so the harness work isn't foreign to me either.
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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
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Honestly, I find writing to be a very lonely job.
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I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'
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If you can't play guitar and sing in Nashville, you might as well just be a construction worker.
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Fairy tales opened up a door into my imagination - they don't conform to the reality that's around you as a child. I started reading when I was three and read everything, but I wanted to be an actress.
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Every Jew is my brother, and I will not succumb to hate speech.
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The first week Banks was with us, we knew he was going to be a star.
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There is no kind of music I don't listen to. Everything good is interesting. I am as happy with a Bach fugue as I am with a record by Thelonious Monk.
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With all of the qualities of the scene-setting, the dialogue, the place and time and the time and place in which your characters move. And I want to move with the characters, move with them and describe the world in which they are living.
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The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to.
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When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
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The first piece I ever collected was a Roy Lichtenstein: a sculpture called 'Surrealist Head II'. There was a waiting list. I remember Steve Martin wanted one, and I wanted one. I got the 'Surrealist Head', and I was thrilled.
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For me and my husband, one of my biggest peeves is that I can't stand for an old friend or a woman to walk in the room and just run up and speak to my husband, but they don't talk to me.
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I originally went to school to be a filmmaker. And so it's a big part of how I think and how I write. And it inspires me a lot.
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I think representation is the most important thing in the world. People who are young look up to the things that they see in the media. They want to relate and to be able to say, 'Wow, I can be successful.'
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I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'
