Chelsea Handler Quotes
I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'

Quotes to Explore
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All I came to Los Angeles with was a dream. No one from my family ever left Ohio.
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The first decent building I did with my own practice was a chapel in Taiwan.
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Don't sell credits; don't sell walk-on roles... If people want to back you, they'll back you. But if you have to entice people will walk-on roles and crazy credits, you're undermining yourself.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Human beings are a social species. We like to hang together in groups, just like wildebeests, just like lions. Wildebeests don't hang with lions because lions eat wildebeests. Human beings are like that. We do what that group does that we're trying to identify with.
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Leaving Egypt and the people I loved so much, and the environment I liked, was definitely worth it, because I also have great love for medicine and science.
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I did a lot of stunts, so the harness work isn't foreign to me either.
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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
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Honestly, I find writing to be a very lonely job.
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I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'
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If you can't play guitar and sing in Nashville, you might as well just be a construction worker.
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Fairy tales opened up a door into my imagination - they don't conform to the reality that's around you as a child. I started reading when I was three and read everything, but I wanted to be an actress.
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Every Jew is my brother, and I will not succumb to hate speech.
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The first week Banks was with us, we knew he was going to be a star.
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There is no kind of music I don't listen to. Everything good is interesting. I am as happy with a Bach fugue as I am with a record by Thelonious Monk.
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With all of the qualities of the scene-setting, the dialogue, the place and time and the time and place in which your characters move. And I want to move with the characters, move with them and describe the world in which they are living.
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The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to.
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I love brawling, but I'm a smart fighter.
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My heart gets very tender when it comes to playing someone who has wronged someone else. I almost feel like it's easier for me to play having been wronged than it is to actually feel like you had an active part in hurting someone.
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Terror makes the new future possible. All men one man, Men live in history as never before. He is saying we make an change history minute by minute. History is not the book or the human memory. We do history in the morning and change it after lunch.
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Co-opting the conservative line on anti-poverty programs did nothing to halt conservative attacks on anti-poverty programs.
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Sometimes a single item can wrap up, in a nutshell, who a person is. In my grandparents' home, a clear plastic container was enthroned on top of the mahogany bar for at least a decade. Painted on the lid in pink, yellow and light blue was 'Have a Nosh With Mort & Ethel'.
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We were lucky enough to grow up in an environment where there was always much encouragement to children to pursue intellectual interests; to investigate what ever aroused curiosity.
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I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'