Chelsea Handler Quotes
I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'
Quotes to Explore
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All I came to Los Angeles with was a dream. No one from my family ever left Ohio.
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The first decent building I did with my own practice was a chapel in Taiwan.
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Through the years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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Don't sell credits; don't sell walk-on roles... If people want to back you, they'll back you. But if you have to entice people will walk-on roles and crazy credits, you're undermining yourself.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Human beings are a social species. We like to hang together in groups, just like wildebeests, just like lions. Wildebeests don't hang with lions because lions eat wildebeests. Human beings are like that. We do what that group does that we're trying to identify with.
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Leaving Egypt and the people I loved so much, and the environment I liked, was definitely worth it, because I also have great love for medicine and science.
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I did a lot of stunts, so the harness work isn't foreign to me either.
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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
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Honestly, I find writing to be a very lonely job.
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I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'
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If you can't play guitar and sing in Nashville, you might as well just be a construction worker.
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As anyone who has covered the company for any length of time knows, Yahoo's record on major decision-making has been akin to a hippie commune - a lot of wrangling internally in a culture where everyone seems to have a voice and a reticence to push the button to launch.
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Fairy tales opened up a door into my imagination - they don't conform to the reality that's around you as a child. I started reading when I was three and read everything, but I wanted to be an actress.
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Every Jew is my brother, and I will not succumb to hate speech.
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I am a compulsive and concise shopper.
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The first week Banks was with us, we knew he was going to be a star.
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There is no kind of music I don't listen to. Everything good is interesting. I am as happy with a Bach fugue as I am with a record by Thelonious Monk.
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Writing is a solitary profession; you are really alone when you write. Then the emotions become well shaped and distinct. But their transition into words must be done deliberately and with rigid artistry.
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The company is not and must never claim to be home, family, religion, life or fate for the individual. It must never interfere in his private life or his citizenship. He is tied to the company through a voluntary and cancellable employment contract, not through some mystical or indissoluble bond.
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If historical experience could teach us anything, it would be that private property is inextricably linked with civilization.
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If you are successful, you will be cloned. That's life. In fact, it's a sign that you've made it when clones of your website, mobile app, and business start cropping up.
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Fighting hard to protect yourself and your relatives is good for your genes, but when captured and escape is not possible, giving up short of dying and making the best you can of the new situation is also good for your genes.
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I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'
