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Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
Daniel Handler
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This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.
Daniel Handler
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler
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'I know' Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was.
Daniel Handler
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All love gets over, and we must get over it.
Daniel Handler
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Halloween seems to last forever, until it is finally time to put on one's costume and demand candy from strangers.
Daniel Handler
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Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.Olaf: What about me?Friday: Go away.
Daniel Handler
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For Beatrice-I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.
Daniel Handler
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Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up - and down - a range of strange and distressing mountains.
Daniel Handler
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats
Daniel Handler
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I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday.
Daniel Handler
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For Beatrice-You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. -Lemony Snicket
Daniel Handler
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judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that.
Daniel Handler
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Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
Daniel Handler
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This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says.
Daniel Handler
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I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
Daniel Handler
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It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.
Daniel Handler
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The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.
Daniel Handler
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All four of them have completely abandoned one another.
Daniel Handler
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Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket
Daniel Handler
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Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine.
Daniel Handler
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'I love you, too' David said and took the bottle.'I want you to love me in particular,' Helena said
Daniel Handler
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Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow.
Daniel Handler
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'Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you.' She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life.
Daniel Handler
