Daniel Handler Quotes
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Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.Olaf: What about me?Friday: Go away.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats
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Halloween seems to last forever, until it is finally time to put on one's costume and demand candy from strangers.
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I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday.
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My first novel took almost six years to sell and was rejected 37 times in the interim, and then finally sold for the smallest amount of money my literary agent had ever negotiated for a work of fiction.
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She said, 'We're detectives' in the tone of voice that someone might say, 'Making you happy isn't making me happy'
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Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up - and down - a range of strange and distressing mountains.
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Blank paper has always inspired me.
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All love gets over, and we must get over it.
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Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
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For Beatrice-You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. -Lemony Snicket
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judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that.
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For Beatrice-I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.
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Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow.
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This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says.
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All four of them have completely abandoned one another.
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I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
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I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture.
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Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket
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It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.
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The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.
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'Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you.' She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life.
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Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown.
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As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.