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'The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous inspiration for 'All The Wrong Questions'.
Daniel Handler -
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
Daniel Handler
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To Beatrice-My love flew like a butterfly, Until death swooped down like a bat, As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said: That's the end of that.
Daniel Handler -
I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to summer camp and had a wonderful time. I really liked a book where a witch might cut a child's head off or a pack of angry dogs might burst through a door and terrorize a family.
Daniel Handler -
Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from or how often they should appear.
Daniel Handler -
Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement.
Daniel Handler -
… the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly?
Daniel Handler -
This was that day if you know what I mean.
Daniel Handler
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Olaf: I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!Violet: Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems.
Daniel Handler -
I can't stand the lyrics.
Daniel Handler -
It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. 'We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans.' Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park.
Daniel Handler -
When you start writing a picture book, you have to write a manuscript that has enough language to prompt the illustrator to get his or her gears running, but then you end up having to cut it out because you don't want any of the language to be redundant to the pictures that are being drawn.
Daniel Handler -
I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat a lot of raw carrots.
Daniel Handler -
'I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me.'
Daniel Handler
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats
Daniel Handler -
It's always dawnest before dark
Daniel Handler -
I'll have ten grams of rice, Mrs. Bass interrupted, one tenth of a hectogram of shrimp vindaloo, a dekagram of chana aloo masala, one thousand centigrams of tandori salmon, four samosas with surface area of nineteen cubic centimeters, five deciliters of mango lassi, and a sada rava dosai that's exactly nineteen centimeters long.
Daniel Handler -
If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
Daniel Handler -
What can be hidden in a book?
Daniel Handler -
She said, 'We're detectives' in the tone of voice that someone might say, 'Making you happy isn't making me happy'
Daniel Handler
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I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen.
Daniel Handler -
I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it's nice to be in a room with a bunch of people working on a movie.
Daniel Handler -
This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.
Daniel Handler -
Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.Olaf: What about me?Friday: Go away.
Daniel Handler