Dave Barry Quotes
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

Quotes to Explore
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Experience, already reduced to a group of impressions, is ringed round for each one of us by that thick wall of personality through which no real voice has ever pierced on its way to us, or from us to that which we can only conjecture to be without.
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If you saw a dog going to be crushed under a car, wouldn't you help him?
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Nearly every president in the past 100 years has declared national monuments, from Teddy Roosevelt creating the Grand Canyon National Monument to George W. Bush preserving 10 islands and 140,000 square miles of ocean waters in the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands.
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There are over a million people running around the United States that were born to parents just on Match.com alone, to say nothing of the other properties we run, so that's a million lives that our company just had a little to do with in bringing their parents together.
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I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.
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'The New World Haggadah' is meant for American Jews in the 21st century.
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If you be faithful, you will have that honor that comes from God: his Spirit will say in your hearts, Well done, good and faithful servants.
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I thought I'd be doing weird, Off Broadway theater after I graduated.
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Before 'Gremlins,' I was a normal person, then within two weeks of the movie coming out, I couldn't walk into a store without people turning around and staring. It's exciting and also scary because everyone starts telling you how amazing you are.
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'A living dog is better than a dead lion.' Judge Douglas, if not a dead lion for this work, is at least a caged and toothless one. How can he oppose the advances of slavery? He don't care anything about it.
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(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.
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I came back to the hood and got in those streets and started doing whatever it took for me to provide.
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I can be not showered and dressed like a slob, but my lip gloss will be on!
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Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess.
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Everything I want to do in my life, I want to be at the top.
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My brother Martin is two years younger than me. There has never been any competition between us - clearly he was the good-looking one; he was also very sporty, and I am not a football player.
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The return we reap from generous actions is not always evident.
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I understand how the economy actually works.
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We got dreams and we got the right to chase 'em, Look at the nation, that's a crooked smile braces couldn't even straighten.
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The formula for achieving middle-class success is simple: Finish high school; don't have a child before the age of 20; and get married before having the child.
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If I were to give you a list of names of the people, world political figures, who have been assisted by the CIA, and even assisted to office around the world, you'd be astonished and probably wouldn't believe it. But it's very long, and the names are very distinguished.
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I've always loved to help people, young people in particular.
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We read our children stories starring elephants and monkeys and bears to teach them about nobility, curiosity and courage, to warn them against selfishness and stubbornness.
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.