Dave Barry Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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We need to consider nominations as thoroughly and carefully as the American people deserve. No one is entitled to a free pass to a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court.
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The death of my kid made me a stronger person. There's no end to what I'm willing to do.
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Where love is, there God is also.
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I hate competition.
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All diseases run into one, old age.
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My mother helped me identify myself the way the world would identify me. Bloodlines didn't matter as much as how I would be perceived.
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There are still times in my life where I pull back from being totally honest, and I can't imagine a single straight person who would understand that.
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In 1956, I received an invitation to a dedication of an observatory in the Soviet Union, in Soviet Armenia, as a guest of the Soviet Academy of Sciences.
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I've had a dozen novels published and have made far more than a dozen mistakes. Which is why Randy Susan Meyers and I wrote a guidebook to help authors avoid making our mistakes.
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I never felt like I had a mother.
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The guys in Kiss use some make up too so at first it was exiting. I've almost stopped using make-up nowadays.
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Pray to Christ for me that the animals will be the means of making me a sacrificial victim for God.
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It's some weird idea to think that you've always got to say everything is great and perfect.
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People say, 'Well you know the economy's bad, so China consumption will be low. No, totally different. You Americans love to spend tomorrow's money, and other people's money maybe... We Chinese love to save money.
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Growing up, I thought I was going to be Madonna. I wanted to be a pop star. I wanted to dance and sing.
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I can't help but laugh at how perfect I am.
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If I go to a baseball game, I hear 'Shoeless Joe,' but otherwise, I hear 'toe pick' five times a day. No matter how many more movies I make, that'll be on my gravestone.
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He was a silly guy. Out - do the other guy. That was his effort at all times.
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All jargon of the schools.
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You would open a drawer, which my father had jammed full of newspapers, and the bottom would drop out. There were buttons and screws and nails and bottle caps and jar lids – the drawer of jar lids! Why? Because they're made of metal and maybe there'll be another war and we'll need the metal. A friend of mine – I quote him in the book – says, 'You have found the source of the river eBay.'
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Change will not come from above, it will come from below, from the small and medium size businesspeople. They do dare to show their faces. They applaud us and help us financially.
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I'm not one to air my dirty laundry for the whole world.
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World War II was the last government program that really worked.
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To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
