Dave Barry Quotes
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

Quotes to Explore
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Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
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Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
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I wish there was a painter who could paint as well as Ted Williams could hit.
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Cable news is more titillating to talk about who's up and who's down and all that nonsense as opposed to what's actually done.
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I went to the Technion and studied with Avram Hershko. I found it more exciting than practicing medicine.
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If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.
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Waiting for me in Stockholm will be a personal assistant - Katrina from the Ministry for Foreign Affairs - as well the secretary of the Swedish Academy. They'll help us with our things and take us to our hotel. From the moment I arrive, I'll always be together with the other two laureates.
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I drink tons of water. It always sounds like the lamest thing, but there's a reason you keep hearing this over and over again. It really works.
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I remember growing up always loving the guitar. I used to love to watch the people play on the Country Western shows on TV. My folks told me that when I was just a toddler, I used to pretend I was playing a guitar on a toothpick.
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I think there are a very few pro-lifers who would say that a zygote in a petri dish is the equivalent of you or me; it's just younger. If you can say that without laughing, maybe you are a true pro-lifer. But I think most people are able or willing to make distinctions that show they maybe don't quite believe that.
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If our country is serious about reducing our dependency on foreign oil, we need to get serious about mobilizing the infrastructure necessary to distribute and dispense the next generation of fuels.
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Stevie Wonder and Diana Ross and the Jackson 5, that's what I grew up on.
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Europe and Africa share proximity and history, ideas and ideals, trade and technology. You are tied together by the ebb and flow of people. Migration presents policy challenges - but also represents an opportunity to enhance human development, promote decent work, and strengthen collaboration.
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Britain's passion for Christmas and huge white weddings dates from Victorian times - both were low-key celebrations before Victoria and her PR machine.
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I think people are frightened of women making big decisions.
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Michael Jackson, he used to chase relevancy all the time. He always wanted to go a little bigger and better and keep that audience. There was never a point where Michael was going to feel like, 'I've got to play the Nokia, and that's all I'm going to pull in is the Nokia.' That would not have been acceptable.
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I didn't want to do a zoo show. I didn't want to do a study of someone with mental illness. I just wanted to show someone who was trying to live their life.
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Private equity helps produce strong companies, promotes innovation and spurs job growth.
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My voice is not good enough for me to sing a song.
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When you live life like The Nature Boy, there are some monumental highs and, sadly, some unbelievable lows. No matter what happens in his life, he always comes back bigger and better than any of us can even imagine.
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This inability to think created the possibility for many ordinary men to commit evil deeds on a gigantic scale, the like of which had never been seen before. The manifestation of the wind of thought is not knowledge but the ability to tell right from wrong, beautiful from ugly. And I hope that thinking gives people the strength to prevent catastrophes in these rare moments when the chips are down.
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I love decompressing with friends. Sometimes when a tour is long, I'll fly friends over for the last part of the tour. I love to bring family with me, and spending time with them and my family is really the way to decompress.
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I certainly wished I hadn't stressed quite as much or had such insecurity at times. I wish I had trusted my instincts on some occasions when I didn't and I wish I had listened to better advice when I didn't. But overall, I have to look at the glass as half full and acknowledge that I am all of the moments of my life, the good and the not so good.
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.