Bill Engvall Quotes

Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called 'Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper.' Just how 'rapidly' are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play 'Beat the Clock' in the thicket.

Bill Engvall

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Quotes to Explore

• Before I had my child, animals were my life. I slept with four dogs in my bed.

  

  Salma Hayek
  • Life
  • Child
  • My Life

• Singing, writing songs, is kind of my biggest fear, but it's the thing I feel I need to conquer.

  

  Cara Delevingne
  • Writing
  • Fear
  • Singing

• I just wear black and gray all the time. If you Google Image me, you'll just see a bunch of black and gray. It's simple. If I like a shirt, I'll buy six or eight of them, wear them back-to-back, and just wait for somebody to say something. 'That's the same shirt you wore yesterday.' 'Yeah, but this one is fresh.'

  

  Hannibal Buress
  • Time
  • Black
  • Simple

• The thing is, I've gotten massages to Enya. I like Enya. If you ate fantastic steaks to Celine Dion, you'd like Celine Dion.

  

  Adam McKay
  • You
  • Like
  • Fantastic

• I grew up listening to my father argue politics into the night and taking trips every Saturday to the Hood River library where my mother maintained her interest in reading and encouraged the same from her sons.

  

  Dale T. Mortensen
  • Up
  • Mother
  • Father

• Since there are only so many ways to kill a person, a good portion of homicides look pretty much alike.

  

  Pat Brown
  • Good
  • Pretty
  • Look

• I'll be a wife and mother first, then First Lady.

  

  Jackie Kennedy
  • Mother
  • Wife
  • Lady

• I feel like there's such a responsibility, when you make a film, to enlighten people, to make them think, to make them laugh, or even just to be entertaining.

  

  Parker Posey
  • People
  • Think
  • Responsibility

• I'm very into science-fantasy, that kind of swordfights and magic and technology thing.

  

  Gary Numan
  • Science
  • Technology
  • Kind

• Regardless of my legislation, spending has to be stopped.

  

  Gary Johnson
  • Regardless
  • Legislation

• Religion is absolutely unfathomable. Always and everywhere one can dig more deeply into infinities.

  

  Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
  • Always
  • Religion
  • More

• People don't usually compliment your character.

  

  Taylor Swift
  • People
  • Character
  • Your

• I want to be able to sing well, but I have the worst voice in the world.

  

  Kate Upton
  • World
  • Want
  • Voice

• I visited Jobs for the last time in his Palo Alto, Calif., home. He had moved to a downstairs bedroom because he was too weak to go up and down stairs. He was curled up in some pain, but his mind was still sharp and his humor vibrant.

  

  Walter Isaacson
  • Up
  • Time
  • Mind

• He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.

  

  B. C. Forbes
  • World
  • May
  • Hope

• I hate to be a failure. I hate and regret the failure of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success.

  

  J. Paul Getty
  • Success
  • Hate
  • Failure

• You can't have a U.S. Open anymore without an extra course to store all the hospitality tents. I used to be able to drive up to the clubhouse and park like the players. Now, there are seven corporate hospitality guys who have my spot, and I'm on a bus.

  

  Dan Jenkins
  • Up
  • Drive
  • Bus

• I always wanted to be on a sitcom.

  

  Victoria Jackson
  • Always
  • Wanted
  • Sitcom

• My father was a boxer, though. So, I have a particular interest in Ray Mancini, I think.

  

  Warren Zevon
  • Father
  • Think
  • Interest

• Dizzy used to tell me that I am playing too hard. He used to say to not give everything. Miles used to tell me that too.

  

  Freddie Hubbard

• The New York Public Library is a wonderful gem. I go there to get away from the bustle of the city. They have an incredible collection of menus from all over the city.

  

  Daniel Humm
  • City
  • Library

• There's no fun in a bag if it's not kicked around so that it looks as if the cat's been sitting on it - and it usually has. The cat may even be in it! I always put on stickers and beads and worry beads. You can get them from Greece, Israel, Palestine - from anywhere in the world.

  

  Jane Birkin
  • World
  • May
  • Fun

• Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called 'Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper.' Just how 'rapidly' are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play 'Beat the Clock' in the thicket.

  

  Bill Engvall