Bill Engvall Quotes

Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called 'Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper.' Just how 'rapidly' are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play 'Beat the Clock' in the thicket.

Bill Engvall

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Quotes to Explore

• Before I had my child, animals were my life. I slept with four dogs in my bed.

  

  Salma Hayek
  • Life
  • Child
  • My Life

• Singing, writing songs, is kind of my biggest fear, but it's the thing I feel I need to conquer.

  

  Cara Delevingne
  • Writing
  • Fear
  • Singing

• The thing is, I've gotten massages to Enya. I like Enya. If you ate fantastic steaks to Celine Dion, you'd like Celine Dion.

  

  Adam McKay
  • You
  • Like
  • Fantastic

• I grew up listening to my father argue politics into the night and taking trips every Saturday to the Hood River library where my mother maintained her interest in reading and encouraged the same from her sons.

  

  Dale T. Mortensen
  • Up
  • Mother
  • Father

• Religion is absolutely unfathomable. Always and everywhere one can dig more deeply into infinities.

  

  Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
  • Always
  • Religion
  • More

• People don't usually compliment your character.

  

  Taylor Swift
  • People
  • Character
  • Your

• I want to be able to sing well, but I have the worst voice in the world.

  

  Kate Upton
  • World
  • Want
  • Voice

• I visited Jobs for the last time in his Palo Alto, Calif., home. He had moved to a downstairs bedroom because he was too weak to go up and down stairs. He was curled up in some pain, but his mind was still sharp and his humor vibrant.

  

  Walter Isaacson
  • Up
  • Time
  • Mind

• He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.

  

  B. C. Forbes
  • World
  • May
  • Hope

• I hate to be a failure. I hate and regret the failure of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success.

  

  J. Paul Getty
  • Success
  • Hate
  • Failure

• You can't have a U.S. Open anymore without an extra course to store all the hospitality tents. I used to be able to drive up to the clubhouse and park like the players. Now, there are seven corporate hospitality guys who have my spot, and I'm on a bus.

  

  Dan Jenkins
  • Up
  • Drive
  • Bus

• I always wanted to be on a sitcom.

  

  Victoria Jackson
  • Always
  • Wanted
  • Sitcom

• My father was a boxer, though. So, I have a particular interest in Ray Mancini, I think.

  

  Warren Zevon
  • Father
  • Think
  • Interest

• I had discovered journalism to be my life's ambition.

  

  Walter Cronkite
  • Life
  • Ambition
  • Journalism

• If the people cannot trust their government to do the job for which it exists - to protect them and to promote their common welfare - all else is lost.

  

  Barack Obama
  • People
  • Job
  • Lost

• Cut off the head of the snake

  

  Abdullah of Saudi Arabia
  • Snake

• Don Conroy was larger than life and there was never a room he entered that he left without making his mark. At some point in his life, he passed from being merely memorably to being legendary.

  

  Pat Conroy
  • Life

• These five rules above form all that is necessary to render proofs convincing, immutable, and to say all, geometrical; and the eight rules together render them even more perfect.

  

  Blaise Pascal
  • Together
  • Perfect

• Learn how a 3D printer works. Get inspired. Make your own stuff. It is a wonderful time to be innovative. Connect things together. If you're into electronics, get an Arduino.

  

  Bre Pettis
  • Time
  • Together
  • Inspired

• Some who question the authenticity of the memories of abuse do so in part because of the intensity and sincerity of the accused persons who deny the abuse . . . the current denials of those accused of sexual abuse are not proof that the allegations are false. Research with known rapists, pedophiles, and incest offenders has illustrated that they often exhibit a cognitive distortion –a tendency to justify, minimize, or rationalize their behavior (Gudjonsson, 1992). Because accused persons are motivated to verbally and even mentally deny an abusive past, simple denials cannot constitute cogent evidence that the victim’s memories are not authentic.

  

  Elizabeth Loftus
  • Question
  • Memories
  • Evidence

• You set something in modern-day Texas, which is so identifiable as the Old West, and everyone's wearing guns, so it looks like it's going to be, by default, partially considered a western.

  

  Taylor Sheridan
  • You
  • Like
  • Texas

• But in cherishing all that is best in the land of your origin, and in desiring the highest welfare of the people of the old home, the question arises as to how that result can best be secured. I know that there is no better American spirit than that which is exhibited by many of those who have recently come to our shores.

  

  Calvin Coolidge
  • People
  • Home
  • American

• Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called 'Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper.' Just how 'rapidly' are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play 'Beat the Clock' in the thicket.

  

  Bill Engvall