Bill Engvall Quotes
Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.

Quotes to Explore
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In real life, I'm polite and nice all the time. It's fun to play people who aren't. It's escapism.
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I have self-actualized. Pardon me whilst I adjust my glowing halo.
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I was in graduate school. I had a birth control accident and went to get the morning after pill.
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All of us are trying to achieve 100 percent in our work. That's all we struggle to do. We never do, but we never stop trying until the day we die. It's that struggle to achieve 100 percent, that's where our performance lies, that's what the audience gets. They get the struggle.
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Pictures must not be too picturesque.
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Being gay myself, I'm naturally drawn to the interactions between men rather than men and women.
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If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.
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The Wreckoning is a darker song. But the record is positive.
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I had seen some films made about the underground music world in Tehran, and most of them were short documentaries about 30 or 40 minutes long. And I always wondered why they weren't publicized more. Really, their only flaw was they were short documentaries.
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Chavez made a compete fool of himself in front of the entire world while giving the U.N. a black eye. But the real losers are the Venezuelan people who have to put up with this unstable character every day.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
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Our meaning is to make our little planet Earth a better place to live, to stop wars, disarm nuclear missiles, to stop diseases, AIDS, plague, cancer and to stop pollution.
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Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
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If I take two years off, I would want to fight as much as possible.
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I feel like if you enjoyed the 119 hours that precede the finale of 'Lost,' is that whole experience ruined by the fact that you might not agree with everything that we did in the finale? I would hope not! I would hope that you would appreciate the fact that you were entertained for 119 hours even if you didn't love the finale.
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The stage is a place where I can be wholly myself. Even though you're in front of people almost to be judged, it is a place without judgement.
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Occasionally, I will come across something that has lost its label over the years - maybe the client didn't want to declare the dress at customs and took the label out - but I'll recognize it from an image that I've seen in Vogue, or a little thumbnail sketch.
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If people don't know who you are, they're not going to listen to your message. And not everybody pays attention to politicians by watching Fox News and CNN.
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I used to be a person who just peaked for the big events, not doing too many competitions, but now you've got to go round chasing all the points because if you're not taking them, someone else is.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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I'm not religious. It's an issue, 'cause I've got two little kids, and I feel you can't grow up without knowledge of religion.
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I grew up in Cyprus and Egypt, these fantastic places I remember fondly.
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Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.