Bill Engvall Quotes
Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.
Quotes to Explore
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You know, on the road, I never miss a meal. I eat five, six, seven times a day, depending on when I wake up and when I got to sleep. I never miss a training day. I always get my four days out of my seven.
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I tell people in Chicago to take care of themselves.
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Most people get excited about games, but I've got to be excited about practice, because that's my classroom.
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Any woman who wishes to smash into the world of men isn't very feminine.
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I'm married. I've been with my husband for six years. Now that I know what a healthy relationship is, I find I can write better about the unhealthiness of relationships.
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There is no chance and anarchy in the universe. All is system and gradation. Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
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I think writers have to be proactive: they've got to use new technology and social media. Yes, it's hard to get noticed by traditional publishers, but there's a great deal of opportunity out there if you've got the right story.
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I am a crazy Maverick fan. I would go there if Dallas was a great entertainment center.
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When I find the right information, the Web is a blessing; when I don't, it's a distraction.
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I don't believe we have defined health care reform very well in this country.
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Wickets are like wives. You never know what to expect from them.
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Communities don't think, don't believe, don't want, don't have needs, don't have interests and don't make decisions. Only individuals have minds that generate desires and needs - and only individuals can make choices and decisions.
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Politicians are so detested. And the main cause is not policy; it's the fact that there is no trust.
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Starting at 11, I was a movie-theater popcorn girl, a babysitter, a sales clerk - in the Midwest, they start them early!
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
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My husband and I are just really laid back people.
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All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.
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After university, I was working as a stylist in the Paris theatres when I had a flash of inspiration. I made necklaces from the bikinis designed for the cabaret performers of Folies Bergeres. I was so happy with them that it was only then that I sought out formal training in jewelry.
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Yes, I was on the cover of 'Vogue,' but girls on the cover of 'Vogue' are the most scared of rejection. Models are the most insecure of them all. Actually, actors and actresses are, and then musicians, and then models!
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I listened a little to punk when I was younger, but it was straight edge punk. It was nothing like what is going on now, like poppy punk.
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Governments decide they know best and they're going to tell you what to do. The trouble is that education doesn't go on in the committee rooms of our legislative buildings. It happens in classrooms and schools, and the people who do it are the teachers and the students. And if you remove their discretion, it stops working.
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Unfortunately, there's a lot of confusion today over what is sexy and what is vulgar. It's horrifying. They say, 'Oh, that girl is so sexy,' and she turns around and the dress is four sizes too small. Or she's wearing so much stuff, you wonder how long it took her to get ready.
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I somewhat resist the whole gay rights-vampire rights metaphor because it is fraught with problems. I don't want to be seen as a gay man as a blood-sucking killer. I don't think it is the way to win hearts and minds.
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Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.
