Bill Engvall Quotes
Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.
Quotes to Explore
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You know, on the road, I never miss a meal. I eat five, six, seven times a day, depending on when I wake up and when I got to sleep. I never miss a training day. I always get my four days out of my seven.
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I tell people in Chicago to take care of themselves.
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Most people get excited about games, but I've got to be excited about practice, because that's my classroom.
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Any woman who wishes to smash into the world of men isn't very feminine.
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I'm married. I've been with my husband for six years. Now that I know what a healthy relationship is, I find I can write better about the unhealthiness of relationships.
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There is no chance and anarchy in the universe. All is system and gradation. Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
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I think writers have to be proactive: they've got to use new technology and social media. Yes, it's hard to get noticed by traditional publishers, but there's a great deal of opportunity out there if you've got the right story.
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I am a crazy Maverick fan. I would go there if Dallas was a great entertainment center.
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When I find the right information, the Web is a blessing; when I don't, it's a distraction.
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I don't believe we have defined health care reform very well in this country.
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Wickets are like wives. You never know what to expect from them.
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Communities don't think, don't believe, don't want, don't have needs, don't have interests and don't make decisions. Only individuals have minds that generate desires and needs - and only individuals can make choices and decisions.
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Politicians are so detested. And the main cause is not policy; it's the fact that there is no trust.
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Starting at 11, I was a movie-theater popcorn girl, a babysitter, a sales clerk - in the Midwest, they start them early!
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My husband and I are just really laid back people.
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All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.
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After university, I was working as a stylist in the Paris theatres when I had a flash of inspiration. I made necklaces from the bikinis designed for the cabaret performers of Folies Bergeres. I was so happy with them that it was only then that I sought out formal training in jewelry.
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If you realize too acutely how valuable time is, you are too paralyzed to do anything.
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I really feel like I came out of the water when I graduated from college, because I wasn't really aware of what was going on. If certain people tried to take advantage of me or whatever, I never really realized it until I got out of school.
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If a man has reported to you, that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make any defense (answer) to what has been told you: but reply, The man did not know the rest of my faults, for he would not have mentioned these only. (33) tr. George Long (1888).
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I must say, some are not very beautifully made. They’re coffee-table books for people who drink alcohol. I have nothing against coffee-table books as long as they are well done. They must not look like gravestones on a table. Sometimes they are too big, they come in boxes and things like this. No, a book has to be easy to open and you don’t have to be a bodybuilder to lift it. I like books I can read in bed. Those big tombstones would kill me.
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If any philosopher had been asked for a definition of infinity, he might have produced some unintelligible rigmarole, but he would certainly not have been able to give a definition that had any meaning at all.
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I don't look like a chorus girl.
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Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.
