Bill Hicks Quotes
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(On drug laws): Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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'I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God.' And I say no, it's not, Dad. 'Well, I believe that it is.' Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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(On being censored): 'I didn’t go up and say the Pope’s a faggot!....Which is what he is, but I didn’t say that!'
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.
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You ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. 'I believe God created me in one day.' Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: 'What a cute butt.' 'He's Satan!' 'You don't know him like I do.' 'He's the Prince of Darkness!' 'I can change him.'
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It's all about money, not freedom, y'all, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin' freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without fucking money, okay?
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Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
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'Now, you have to tighten your belts, because we, your leaders, mis-spent your hard-earned money.' Know what would make tightening my belt a little easier? If I could tighten it around Jesse Helms' scrawny little chicken-neck.
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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(On Standards & Practices): 'Where are your standards?....Stupid to retarded, is that the level of standards you’re trying to put out to America?'