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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks -
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. Fact! … I'll prove it to you. If you're at a ball game or a concert and someone's really violent and aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? The crowd answers 'Drunk.' Wow! We all know the truth.
Bill Hicks
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on the Gulf War I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.
Bill Hicks -
I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
Bill Hicks -
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
Bill Hicks -
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks -
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks -
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA...seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first. Iraq, 150,000, USA 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, 'I did it! Hey!'
Bill Hicks
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People say, 'Uh-Uh, Bill, Iraq had the fourth-largest army in the world.' Yeah, well, maybe, but, you know what? After the first three largest armies there's a really big fucking drop-off, okay? The Hare Krishnas are the fifth largest army in the world, and they've already got all our airports. So, who is the bigger threat?
Bill Hicks -
All governments are lying cocksuckers.
Bill Hicks -
And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.
Bill Hicks -
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks -
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
Bill Hicks -
I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
Bill Hicks
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People pay lip service to saving the planet, but they don't – they fail to make the big leap that if you want to save the planet, kill your fucking self. The planet will be saved without you. And what a delightful place it'll be. Welcome. It's a new thing I'm working on, called 'The Comedy of Hate'. Join in.
Bill Hicks -
Anybody can be a bum; all it takes is the right girl, the right bar and the right friends, and you are well… your buddies will see you off. They'll christen your dumpster for you.
Bill Hicks -
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
Bill Hicks -
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
Bill Hicks -
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. salutes.
Bill Hicks -
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
Bill Hicks
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
Bill Hicks -
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks -
Yeah, good to be here. I haven't been here in two years...no applause...thanks. It's that warmth I've missed in Austin. Adding extra Southern drawl So, we been here, ain't our fault you gotta travel around, shit. We supposed to follow you around? You supposed to be back here. What are you doin', where are you?
Bill Hicks -
Not all drugs are good, all right? Some of them … are great. Just gotta know your way around them, is all.
Bill Hicks