Mark Twain Quotes
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It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
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India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
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Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.
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All creatures kill-there seems to be no exception; but of the whole list, man is the only one that kills for fun; he is the only one that kills in malice, the only one that kills for revenge.
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Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
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The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
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Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
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We believe that out of the public school grows the greatness of a nation.
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An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth-a fact that is recognized by the law of libel.
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But the truth is, that when a Library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'
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'In God We Trust.' It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased: it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true. And in a measure it is true - half the nation trusts in Him. That half has decided it.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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An unpopular opinion concerning politics or religion lies concealed in the breast of every man; in many cases not only one sample, but several. The more intelligent the man, the larger the freightage of this kind of opinions he carries, and keeps to himself.
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It may be called the Master Passion-the hunger for Self-Approval.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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In grandchildren I am the richest man that lives to-day: for I select my grandchildren, whereas all other grandfathers have to take them as they come, good, bad, and indifferent.