Mark Twain Quotes
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
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Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
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Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
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A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.
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Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
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All creatures kill-there seems to be no exception; but of the whole list, man is the only one that kills for fun; he is the only one that kills in malice, the only one that kills for revenge.
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We believe that out of the public school grows the greatness of a nation.
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An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth-a fact that is recognized by the law of libel.
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It may be called the Master Passion-the hunger for Self-Approval.
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An unpopular opinion concerning politics or religion lies concealed in the breast of every man; in many cases not only one sample, but several. The more intelligent the man, the larger the freightage of this kind of opinions he carries, and keeps to himself.
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The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
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Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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But the truth is, that when a Library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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In grandchildren I am the richest man that lives to-day: for I select my grandchildren, whereas all other grandfathers have to take them as they come, good, bad, and indifferent.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.