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To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain -
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain
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The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Mark Twain -
France has usually been governed by prostitutes.
Mark Twain -
In grandchildren I am the richest man that lives to-day: for I select my grandchildren, whereas all other grandfathers have to take them as they come, good, bad, and indifferent.
Mark Twain -
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain -
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain -
An unpopular opinion concerning politics or religion lies concealed in the breast of every man; in many cases not only one sample, but several. The more intelligent the man, the larger the freightage of this kind of opinions he carries, and keeps to himself.
Mark Twain
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There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
Mark Twain -
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain -
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain -
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain -
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain -
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
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An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth-a fact that is recognized by the law of libel.
Mark Twain -
To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin.
Mark Twain -
Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain -
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so.'
Mark Twain -
I'll risk forty dollars that he can outjump any frog in Calaveras county.
Mark Twain -
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
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A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.
Mark Twain -
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain -
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark Twain -
We believe that out of the public school grows the greatness of a nation.
Mark Twain