Mark Twain Quotes
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
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...a revolutionist in my sympathies, by birth, by breeding and by principle. I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute...
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
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How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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He George Washington Cable has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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Herodotus says, 'Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.'
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Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge.
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When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
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Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite - but they all worship money.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Enough, enough, enough! Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
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Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.