Mark Twain Quotes
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.
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Enough, enough, enough! Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
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It is my hope sir, that the ass who invented the 'age of consent'-any age of consent between cradle and grave-is with his progenitors in hell, and that the legislatures that are keeping the resulting law in force will follow him soon.
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'In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot'
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
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The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
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Everybody yelled at him, and laughed at him, and sassed him, and he sassed back, and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns, but he couldn't wait now, because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn, and his motto was, 'Meat first, and spoon vittles to top off on.'
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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William Dean Howells applauded, and was full of praises and endorsement, which was wise in him and judicious. If he had manifested a different spirit I would have thrown him out of the window. I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
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...a professor in one of the great female colleges. That odious form is common, and I submit and use it, though it offends me as much as it would to say female brickbat or female snow-storm or female geography.
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Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all - the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.
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'We consciously or unconsciously pay more attention to tuning our opinions to our neighbor’s pitch and preserving his approval than we do to examining the opinions searchingly and seeing to it that they are right and sound.
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The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
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James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness; the report of my death was an exaggeration.