Mark Twain Quotes
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
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To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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....it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Enough, enough, enough! Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
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Everybody yelled at him, and laughed at him, and sassed him, and he sassed back, and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns, but he couldn't wait now, because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn, and his motto was, 'Meat first, and spoon vittles to top off on.'
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Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.
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The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.
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It is my hope sir, that the ass who invented the 'age of consent'-any age of consent between cradle and grave-is with his progenitors in hell, and that the legislatures that are keeping the resulting law in force will follow him soon.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
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William Dean Howells applauded, and was full of praises and endorsement, which was wise in him and judicious. If he had manifested a different spirit I would have thrown him out of the window. I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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...a professor in one of the great female colleges. That odious form is common, and I submit and use it, though it offends me as much as it would to say female brickbat or female snow-storm or female geography.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don't. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
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Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.