Mark Twain Quotes
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually insane.
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I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
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He is a stranger to me, but he is a most remarkable man - and I am the other one. Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Ages of restriction to the one tool which the law was not able to take from him-his brain-have made that tool singularly competent...
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Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
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The trade of critic, in literature, music, and the drama, is the most degraded of all trades.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
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Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the State die? Oh no.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
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Jim was most ruined for a servant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
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Virtue never has been as respectable as money.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
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I am persuaded that in Russia, Austria, and Germany nine-tenths of the hostility to the Jew comes from the average Christian's inability to compete successfully with the average Jew in business-in either straight business or the questionable sort.