Mark Twain Quotes
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
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He is a stranger to me, but he is a most remarkable man - and I am the other one. Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually insane.
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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Ages of restriction to the one tool which the law was not able to take from him-his brain-have made that tool singularly competent...
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Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the State die? Oh no.
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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
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The trade of critic, in literature, music, and the drama, is the most degraded of all trades.
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Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
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Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
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Jim was most ruined for a servant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.