Mark Twain Quotes
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
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There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
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Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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She takes an undaughterful pleasure in noting that now the newspapers are beginning to concede with heartiness that she does not need the help of my name, but can make her way quite satisfactorily upon her own merits. This is insubordination, and must be crushed.
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Try as you may, you don't get down as you would from a horse, you get down as you would from a house afire. You make a spectacle of yourself every time.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Adam, at Eve's grave: Wheresoever she was, THERE was Eden.
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it.
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Ages of restriction to the one tool which the law was not able to take from him-his brain-have made that tool singularly competent...
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A Jewish beggar is not impossible, perhaps; such a thing may exist, but there are few men that can say they have seen that spectacle.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
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Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
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The trade of critic, in literature, music, and the drama, is the most degraded of all trades.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually insane.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a Dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And You are but a Thought - a vagrant Thought, a useless Thought, a homeless Thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities.