Mark Twain Quotes
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Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
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He is a stranger to me, but he is a most remarkable man - and I am the other one. Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
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He says every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind if you want to see it.
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She takes an undaughterful pleasure in noting that now the newspapers are beginning to concede with heartiness that she does not need the help of my name, but can make her way quite satisfactorily upon her own merits. This is insubordination, and must be crushed.
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H'aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it.
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My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
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Adam, at Eve's grave: Wheresoever she was, THERE was Eden.
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I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog.
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Ages of restriction to the one tool which the law was not able to take from him-his brain-have made that tool singularly competent...
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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A critic never made or killed a book or a play. The people themselves are the final judges. It is their opinion that counts. After all, the final test is truth. But the trouble is that most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession and therefore are most economical in its use.
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There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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...from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.)
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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.