Mark Twain Quotes
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There are those who imagine that the unlucky accidents of life-life's 'experiences'-are in some way useful to us. I wish I could find out how. I never know one of them to happen twice. They always change off and swap around and catch you on your inexperienced side.
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A critic never made or killed a book or a play. The people themselves are the final judges. It is their opinion that counts. After all, the final test is truth. But the trouble is that most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession and therefore are most economical in its use.
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So there ain't nothing more to write about, and I am rotten glad of it, because if I'd a knowed what a trouble it was to make a book I wouldn't a tackled it and aint't agoing to no more. But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me and I can't stand it. I been there before.
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Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
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...from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.)
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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Virtue never has been as respectable as money.
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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He says every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind if you want to see it.
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The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it. And besides, I have lived with liars so long that I have lost the tune, & a fact jars upon me like a discord.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
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What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
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I wish Europe would let Russia annihilate Turkey a little-not much, but enough to make it difficult to find the place again without a divining-rod or a diving-bell.
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We have been housekeeping a fortnight, now-long enough to have learned how to pronounce the servants' names, but not how to spell them. We shan't ever learn to spell them; they were invented in Hungary and Poland, and on paper they look like the alphabet out on a drunk.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
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Pilgrim's Progress, about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog.
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Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Mr. Roosevelt is the most formidable disaster that has befallen the country since the Civil War-but the vast mass of the nation loves him, is frantically fond of him, even idolizes him. This is the simple truth. It sounds like a libel upon the intelligence of the human race, but it isn't; there isn't any way to libel the intelligence of the human race.