Mark Twain Quotes
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'We consciously or unconsciously pay more attention to tuning our opinions to our neighbor’s pitch and preserving his approval than we do to examining the opinions searchingly and seeing to it that they are right and sound.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don't. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
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H'aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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The bicycle had what is called the 'wabbles', and had them very badly. In order to keep my position, a good many things were required of me, and in every instance the thing required was against nature. Against nature, but not against the laws of nature.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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...a professor in one of the great female colleges. That odious form is common, and I submit and use it, though it offends me as much as it would to say female brickbat or female snow-storm or female geography.
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Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all - the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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The Erie railroad kills 23 to 46; the other 845 railroads kill an average of one-third of a man each; and the rest of that million, amounting in the aggregate to that appalling figure of 987,631 corpses, die naturally in their beds! You will excuse me from taking any more chances on those beds. The railroads are good enough for me.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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I have seen it stated that no expert is quick enough to run over a dog; that a dog is always able to skip out of his way. I think that that may be true; but I think that the reason he couldn't run over the dog was because he was trying to. I did not try to run over any dog. But I ran over every dog that came along.
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it.
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Adam, at Eve's grave: Wheresoever she was, THERE was Eden.
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This poor little one-horse town.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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She takes an undaughterful pleasure in noting that now the newspapers are beginning to concede with heartiness that she does not need the help of my name, but can make her way quite satisfactorily upon her own merits. This is insubordination, and must be crushed.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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Try as you may, you don't get down as you would from a horse, you get down as you would from a house afire. You make a spectacle of yourself every time.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.