Mark Twain Quotes
-
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
-
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
-
Enough, enough, enough! Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
-
Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the State die? Oh no.
-
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
-
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
-
'We consciously or unconsciously pay more attention to tuning our opinions to our neighbor’s pitch and preserving his approval than we do to examining the opinions searchingly and seeing to it that they are right and sound.
-
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
-
H'aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?
-
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-
The minister gave out his text and droned along monotonously through an argument that was so prosy that many a head by and by began to nod - and yet it was an argument that dealt in limitless fire and brimstone and thinned the predestined elect down to a company so small as to be hardly worth the saving.
-
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
-
He says every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind if you want to see it.
-
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
-
This poor little one-horse town.
-
Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all - the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
-
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
-
Try as you may, you don't get down as you would from a horse, you get down as you would from a house afire. You make a spectacle of yourself every time.
-
I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
-
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
-
No doubt the great majority of them are in the cemetery long ago, and I suppose the rest of us will join them before long. Speaking for myself I am willing; in fact I believe I have been willing ever since I was eighteen years old; not urgent, but willing, merely willing.
-
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
-
James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness; the report of my death was an exaggeration.