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Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite - but they all worship money.
Mark Twain -
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
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No doubt the great majority of them are in the cemetery long ago, and I suppose the rest of us will join them before long. Speaking for myself I am willing; in fact I believe I have been willing ever since I was eighteen years old; not urgent, but willing, merely willing.
Mark Twain -
Enough, enough, enough! Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
Mark Twain -
....it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain -
The late Bill Nye once said 'I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds.'
Mark Twain -
Brooklyn praise is half slander.
Mark Twain -
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
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Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
Mark Twain -
...a revolutionist in my sympathies, by birth, by breeding and by principle. I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute...
Mark Twain -
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain -
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain -
This poor little one-horse town.
Mark Twain -
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
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Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain -
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain -
I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
Mark Twain -
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain -
It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.
Mark Twain -
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Mark Twain
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
Mark Twain -
I think the President is clearly insane in several ways, and insanest upon war and its supreme glories. I think he longs for a big war wherein he can spectacularly perform as chief general and chief admiral, and go down in history as the only monarch of modern times that has served both offices at the same time.
Mark Twain -
Citing a familiar 'American joke': In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?
Mark Twain -
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain