Mark Twain Quotes
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before.
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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
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Citing a familiar 'American joke': In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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I think the President is clearly insane in several ways, and insanest upon war and its supreme glories. I think he longs for a big war wherein he can spectacularly perform as chief general and chief admiral, and go down in history as the only monarch of modern times that has served both offices at the same time.
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Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Appendix D, The Awful German Language
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.
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She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
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Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again!
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Virtue never has been as respectable as money.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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'In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot'
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To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.