Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
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Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
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About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.
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During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana peels up their asses to find out if this was true or not.
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If I'd been born in Germany, I suppose I would have been a Nazi, bopping Jews and gypsies and Poles around, leaving boots sticking out of snowbanks, warming myself with my secretly virtuous insides. So it goes.
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You couldn't help that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed - so you were a good man just the same.
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What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?
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If you want to take my guns away from me, and you’re all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you’re for the poor, you’re a liberal. If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you’re a conservative. What could be simpler?
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One of the great American tragedies is to have participated in a just war. It's been possible for politicians and movie-makers to encourage us we're always good guys. The Second World War absolutely had to be fought. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But we never talk about the people we kill. This is never spoken of.
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Vietnam only made billionaires out of millionaires. Iraq is making trillionaires out of billionaires. Now I call that progress.
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He was too good a soldier to go around asking questions, trying to round out his knowledge.A soldier’s knowledge wasn’t supposed to be round.
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Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;Man got to tell himself he understand.
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Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That's my utopia.
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I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival.
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'I would say, ‘Is there anything I can do?’-but Skip once told me that that was the most hateful and stupid expression in the English language.'
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Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be.
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You know, the truth can be really powerful stuff. You're not expecting it.
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Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you?
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Doctor Paul Proteus, son of a successful man, himself rich with prospects of being richer, counted his material blessings. He found that he was in excellent shape to afford integrity.
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It is almost always a mistake to mention Abraham Lincoln. He always steals the show.
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What is literature but an insider's newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the Universe but a few molecules who have the disease called 'thought'.
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They're playin our song Gene!
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A sum of money is a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might properly be a leading character in a tale about bees.