Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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He held up his watch to sunlight, letting it drink in the wherewithal that was to solar watches what money was to Earth men.
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'During my next visit with you, fellow-believers,' he said, 'I shall tell you a parable about people who do things that they think God Almighty wants done. In the meanwhile, you would do well, for background on this parable, to read everything that you can lay your hands on about the Spanish Inquisition.'
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Vietnam only made billionaires out of millionaires. Iraq is making trillionaires out of billionaires. Now I call that progress.
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I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival.
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During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana peels up their asses to find out if this was true or not.
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
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New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.
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It is almost always a mistake to mention Abraham Lincoln. He always steals the show.
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You couldn't help that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed - so you were a good man just the same.
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Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That's my utopia.
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What is literature but an insider's newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the Universe but a few molecules who have the disease called 'thought'.
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What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?
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Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;Man got to tell himself he understand.
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If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.
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Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be.
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They're playin our song Gene!
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You know, the truth can be really powerful stuff. You're not expecting it.
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He was too good a soldier to go around asking questions, trying to round out his knowledge.A soldier’s knowledge wasn’t supposed to be round.
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Doctor Paul Proteus, son of a successful man, himself rich with prospects of being richer, counted his material blessings. He found that he was in excellent shape to afford integrity.
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A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap.
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People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.
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One of the great American tragedies is to have participated in a just war. It's been possible for politicians and movie-makers to encourage us we're always good guys. The Second World War absolutely had to be fought. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But we never talk about the people we kill. This is never spoken of.
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I think big business is a terrible thing for the spirit of the country, as our spirit is the best thing about us.
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Busy, busy, busy.