Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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If God were alive today, he would have to be an atheist, because the excrement has hit the air-conditioning big time, big time.
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Peculiar Travel Suggestions are Dancing Lessons From God
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If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.
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Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on.
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'During my next visit with you, fellow-believers,' he said, 'I shall tell you a parable about people who do things that they think God Almighty wants done. In the meanwhile, you would do well, for background on this parable, to read everything that you can lay your hands on about the Spanish Inquisition.'
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What froze me was the fact that I had absolutely no reason to move in any direction. What had made me move through so many dead and pointless years was curiosity. Now even that flickered out.
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Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
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Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.
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The new heroism - put a village idiot into a pressure cooker, seal it up tight, and shoot him at the moon.
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We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
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To bethe eyesand earsand conscienceof the Creator of the Universe,you fool.
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People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God.
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The most important message of a crucifix, to me anyway, was how unspeakably cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority.
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Napalm came from Harvard. Veritas!
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I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
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You were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do.
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He held up his watch to sunlight, letting it drink in the wherewithal that was to solar watches what money was to Earth men.
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Maybe God has let everybody who ever lived be reborn - so he or she can see how it ends. Even Pitecanthropus erectus and Australopithecus and Sinanthropus pekensis and the Neanderthalers are back on Earth - to see how it ends. They're all on Times Square - making change for peepshows. Or recruiting Marines.
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This theory argues that artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive. They are supersensitive. They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poison gas, long before more robust types realize that any danger is there.
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I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.
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I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.
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The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, 'There's a Chaplain who never visited the front.'
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What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn’t get so mad at them.