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'I wish I had been born a bird instead,' he said.'I wish we had all been born birds instead.'
Kurt Vonnegut -
What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn’t get so mad at them.
Kurt Vonnegut
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And I believe that reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation anyone has so far found. By reading the writings of the most interesting minds in history, we meditate with our own minds and theirs as well. This to me is a miracle.
Kurt Vonnegut -
To bethe eyesand earsand conscienceof the Creator of the Universe,you fool.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.
Kurt Vonnegut -
New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Old Norwegian Proverb: Swedes have short dicks but long memories.
Kurt Vonnegut -
There is a riddle about a man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive?The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks water from the springs of the bed.
Kurt Vonnegut -
People aren't supposed to look back. I'm certainly not going to do it anymore.
Kurt Vonnegut -
People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.
Kurt Vonnegut -
If you can do no good, at least do no harm.
Kurt Vonnegut -
If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I think big business is a terrible thing for the spirit of the country, as our spirit is the best thing about us.
Kurt Vonnegut -
I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Kurt Vonnegut -
My father said 'When in doubt, castle.'
Kurt Vonnegut -
He alienated his friends in the sciences by thanking them extravagantly for scientific advances he had read about in the recent newspapers and magazines, by assuring them, with a perfectly straight face, that life was getting better and better, thanks to scientific thinking.
Kurt Vonnegut -
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them.
Kurt Vonnegut -
'As far as I’m concerned,' said Constant, 'the Universe is a junk yard, with everything in it overpriced. I am through poking around in the junk heaps, looking for bargains. Every so-called bargain,' said Constant, 'has been connected by fine wires to a dynamite bouquet.'
Kurt Vonnegut
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Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?
Kurt Vonnegut -
You couldn't help that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed - so you were a good man just the same.
Kurt Vonnegut -
The most important message of a crucifix, to me anyway, was how unspeakably cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority.
Kurt Vonnegut -
I wish one and all long and happy lives, no matter what may become of them afterwards. Use sunscreen! Don’t smoke cigarettes. Cigars, however, are good for you … Firearms are also good for you … Gunpowder has zero fat and zero cholesterol. That goes for dumdums, too.
Kurt Vonnegut