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Don't lecture me on race relations. I don't have a molecule of prejudice. I've been in battle with every kind of man there is. I've been in bed with every kind of woman there is - from a Laplander to a Tierra del Fuegian. If I'd ever been to the South Pole, there'd be a hell of a lot of penguins who looked like me.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;Man got to tell himself he understand.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Pretend to be good always, and even God will be fooled.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Labor history was pornography of a sort in those days, and even more so in these days. In public schools and in the homes of nice people it was and remains pretty much taboo to tell tales of labor's sufferings and derring-do.
Kurt Vonnegut -
All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Napalm came from Harvard. Veritas!
Kurt Vonnegut -
'I had hoped, as a broadcaster, to be merely ludicrous, but this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought , so eager to believe and snarl and hate. So many people wanted to believe me!'
Kurt Vonnegut -
His plan? To pass out weapons to slaves, so they could overthrow their masters. Suicide.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
Kurt Vonnegut -
He ransacked his memory like a thief going through another man’s billfold.
Kurt Vonnegut -
History is merely a list of surprises. … It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. Please write that down.
Kurt Vonnegut -
What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?
Kurt Vonnegut -
This silly playlet seemed to satisfy them completely as a picture of what they were doing, why they were doing it, and who was against them, and why some people were against them. It was a beautifully simple picture these procession leaders had. It was as though a navigator, in order to free his mind of worries, had erased all the reefs from his maps.
Kurt Vonnegut
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If God were alive today, he would have to be an atheist, because the excrement has hit the air-conditioning big time, big time.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Bergeron's epitaph for the planet, I remember, which he said should be carved in big letters in a wall of the Grand Canyon for the flying-saucer people to find, was this:WE COULD HAVE SAVED ITBUT WE WERE TOO DOGGONE CHEAPOnly he didn't say 'doggone.''
Kurt Vonnegut -
The new heroism - put a village idiot into a pressure cooker, seal it up tight, and shoot him at the moon.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself. But mankind wasn't always so lucky. Less than a century ago, men and women did not have easy access to the puzzle boxes within them.
Kurt Vonnegut -
His poor soul was flooded with pleasure as he realized that one friend was all that a man needed in order to be well-supplied with friendship.
Kurt Vonnegut -
I am honorary President of the American Humanist Society, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that utterly functionless capacity. We Humanists behave as well as we can, without any rewards or punishments in an Afterlife.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Is it possible that seemingly incredible geniuses like Bach and Shakespeare and Einstein were not in fact superhuman, but simply plagiarists, copying great stuff from the future?
Kurt Vonnegut -
Why so many of us a million years ago purposely knocked out major chunks of our brains with alcohol from time to time remains an interesting mystery. It may be we were trying to give evolution a shove in the right direction - in the direction of smaller brains.
Kurt Vonnegut -
Back in my days as a chemistry student, I used to be quite a technocrat. I was firmly convinced that scientists would have cornered God and photographed Him in color by 1951.
Kurt Vonnegut -
High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.
Kurt Vonnegut