Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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His poor soul was flooded with pleasure as he realized that one friend was all that a man needed in order to be well-supplied with friendship.
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High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.
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There is a riddle about a man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive?The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks water from the springs of the bed.
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'I had hoped, as a broadcaster, to be merely ludicrous, but this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought , so eager to believe and snarl and hate. So many people wanted to believe me!'
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To bethe eyesand earsand conscienceof the Creator of the Universe,you fool.
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The lieutenant-colonel realized for the first time what most people never realize about themselves-that he was not only a victim of outrageous fortune, but one of outrageous fortune’s cruelest agents as well.
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There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
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If you can do no good, at least do no harm.
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Let us devote to unselfishness the frenzy we once gave gold and underpants.
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I now make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it.
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What do I myself think of this particular book? I feel lousy about it, but I always feel lousy about my books.
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The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.
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We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
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While we were being bombed in Dresden, sitting in a cellar with our arms over our heads in case the ceiling fell, one slider said as though he were a duchess in a mansion on a cold and rainy night, 'I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight.' Nobody laughed, but we were still all glad he said it.
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If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.
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Old Norwegian Proverb: Swedes have short dicks but long memories.
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People hate it when they're tickled because laughter is not pleasant, if it goes on too long. I think it's a desperate sort of convulsion in desperate circumstances, which helps a little.
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I am honorary President of the American Humanist Society, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that utterly functionless capacity. We Humanists behave as well as we can, without any rewards or punishments in an Afterlife.
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'I wish I had been born a bird instead,' he said.'I wish we had all been born birds instead.'
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Don't lecture me on race relations. I don't have a molecule of prejudice. I've been in battle with every kind of man there is. I've been in bed with every kind of woman there is - from a Laplander to a Tierra del Fuegian. If I'd ever been to the South Pole, there'd be a hell of a lot of penguins who looked like me.
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What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn’t get so mad at them.
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The most important message of a crucifix, to me anyway, was how unspeakably cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority.
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Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: 'Make me young, make me young, make me young!'
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Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself. But mankind wasn't always so lucky. Less than a century ago, men and women did not have easy access to the puzzle boxes within them.