Irvin S. Cobb Quotes
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A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.
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Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
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A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.
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An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.
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I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
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Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
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If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
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As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.
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A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.
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If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.
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You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
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Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen nothin'!
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Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.
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You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.
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To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.
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If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed...
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Reelfoot is, and has always been, a lake of mystery.In places it is bottomless. Other places the skeletons of the cypress-trees that went down when the earth sank, still stand upright so that if the sun shines from the right quarter, and the water is less muddy than common, a man, peering face downward into its depths, sees, or thinks he sees, down below him the bare top-limbs upstretching like drowned men's fingers, all coated with the mud of years and bandaged with pennons of the green lake slime.
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Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.
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Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.
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An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.