Bob Newhart Quotes
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One time I happened to use the word 'denigrate' onstage, and it didn't get any reaction. So as I continued my act, the left side of my brain was fast-forwarding to see if I had any other big words coming up.
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A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.
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Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'
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The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.
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Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke.
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I don't have a stack of scripts.
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I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.
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Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.
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I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.
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I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!
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I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.
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There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize.
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I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public Accountant was because it would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
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I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.
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I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.
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There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed.
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All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'
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When I first started out, 'Time' magazine did an article on what it called 'the sick comics,' and they were myself, Shelley Berman, Nichols & May, Jonathan Winters, Lenny Bruce, and Mort Sahl. We were considered 'sick.'
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Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life.
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The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy.
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Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.
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I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology?
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Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.
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I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.