Bob Newhart Quotes
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I certainly don't delude myself that there aren't certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can't imagine anything that would bring me more joy.
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Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'
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I don't have a stack of scripts.
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I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back by 5 P.M., and I'll be going all day long and accomplish absolutely nothing. It's an amazing talent.
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A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.
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I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.
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I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.
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No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.
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Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life.
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All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'
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Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.
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There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed.
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I don't know how to do a show not in front of a live audience.
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I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!
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I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public Accountant was because it would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
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I don't have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, 'Has Bob read ours yet?'
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The highest of highs is to have a new routine that you're just breaking in and that's working, and that's - you're one step removed doing a situation comedy because you have a live audience there.
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I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.
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I love portraying the totally indifferent person.
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The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy.
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There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize.
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For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say exactly what we think without weighing the results.
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You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.
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Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.