Fred Willard Quotes
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'Fernwood 2-Night' didn't help me too much when it was first on.
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If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny.
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I love sketch; it's my favorite form. But if it's all improv, they're either very good, and it's annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they're not too good; then you're sweating for them.
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There's this whole underground world of amateur television production.
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I never think I'm old enough to play someone's dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson.
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I've found over the years that for some reason, people either are big fans and have to use me, or they don't quite understand what I'm doing.
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One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob.
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I still think 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' was what they call one of those watershed movies. That and 'The Exorcist' and 'Psycho' were just landmarks for those horror films.
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I used to collect autographs outside of the old Cleveland Stadium. I can still remember everyone who took the time and spent a few minutes to make your day. That sticks with you.
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I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point?
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God bless Chris Guest... and I mean it sincerely.
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I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me.
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I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall.
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I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!'
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People still quote my lines from 'Best in Show.'
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I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.'
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I have always been more relaxed around comedy.
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When you get to a certain age, it's kind of the same thing. There's no new school to go to, no new teachers. There's some comfort in that.
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If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it.
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Bob Balaban is so perfect that the first movie I did with him, I couldn't talk to him because I was so intimidated by him.
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How can we say any one actor's work was better than another's?
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It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, which made me nervous, but I found I could improvise. Then I was in a group called the Ace Trucking Company, which we'd do, like, a half hour set of material, then open up for improvisation.
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As an actor, and as you get to a certain level... and it's pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. 'So-and-so's signed for a pilot. Why aren't I?'
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It's not a bad typecast: the goofy guy.