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Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.
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Where does personality end and brain damage begin?
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If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?
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Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.
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Emotional Ketchup Burst: The bottling up of opinions and emotions inside onself so that they explosively burst forth all at once, shocking and confusing employers and friends - most of whom thought things were fine.
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Don’t you get an empty feeling in your soul when you have a blank to-do list?
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You worry that if you lower your guard, even for one second, your whole world will disintegrate into chaos.
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The one thing about my life that's different from others is that I wake up for no one, and for some reason, that's just good for your creativity.
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The two of you start talking about your feelings and your feelings float outside of you like vapors, and they mix together like a fog. Before you realize it, the two of you have become the same mist and you realize you can never return to being just a lone cloud again, because the isolation would be intolerable.
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Some people think fashion is frivolous but it's not... it's just that some ideas come and go quickly, and that's the nature of the language of fashion.
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We really ought to give ourselves a collective pat on the back for doing as well as we have in a universe of constant media change and mutation.
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We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
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Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins: conflict?
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Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.
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Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chance to have had people hurt us. To a younger me this sounded like luck; to an older me this sounded like a quiet tragedy.
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Destiny is what we work toward. The future doesn't exist yet. Fate is for losers.
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I mean five thousand years ago people emerge out of nowhere - sproing!- with brains and everything and begin wrecking the planet. You'd think we'd give the issue a little more thought than we do.
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Doug's Law: 'You can have information or you can have a life, but you can't have both.'
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The universe hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don't take them, the universe says to itself, 'Oh I see, this person doesn't like opportunities' and stops giving them to you.
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The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.
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You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.
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We are at the vanguard of adolescent protraction.
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Nobody has ever been happy in a job they obtained by first handing in a resumé.
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Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.