Brad Garrett Quotes
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As stated earlier, I am a pessimistic optimist, or what I like to call a 'pissed-omist.' This is a person who has lived long enough to know not to expect much from most people or life in general, but still allows him- or herself the hope that somewhere under all the horseshit there may possibly be a pony.
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I believe it's a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is.
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Athletics are not my wheelhouse because sports were mean to this uncoordinated kid growing up, a 6-foot-2 14-year-old who never could do a layup.
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My act is a little raunchy. When people come to my club, I have to warn them it isn't Robert from 'Raymond.'
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You have a bad day at the office, four people know. You suck in a movie, everyone knows.
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We don't take care of our teachers and our cops and our firemen. They should be at the top of our list.
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I come from the world of improv; I love any show or any vehicle that gives me an opportunity to be in the moment.
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Humor is healing.
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It's fun to play people who are flawed.
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There is the real person I am, and there is the stage persona.
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I was a 6-foot-tall 13-year-old who couldn't play basketball. I moved around all the time as a kid, and at each new school, the coach would say, 'He's the great white hope' - but I couldn't play ball. So my thing was jokes and characters and making fun of myself and being the 6-foot-9 Jewish guy. That was my way into show business.
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I think you're born with a comedy gene, and you can't teach timing, and you can't teach satire, pathos.
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As a side note, I'd like to propose that aim is more mathematical than we tend to acknowledge. For me, it's: smallish dick ÷ long torso = distance to bowl.
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I think I'm better wired for television. I love variety as far as a project. I'm easily bored and the schedule of a television show, it just keeps you going.
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You can give a guy a funny line, but you can't make him say it funny.
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I was a strange kid. I never really fit in; I was never comfortable in my own skin because I was a giant kid with no athletic ability.
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I became a stand-up because that was my survival.
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I love strong women, not only in life but in craft.
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The night I won the Emmy, I probably cried for three hours on and off.
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I feel very, very grateful. I'm a lucky guy, you need a lot of luck, and then when the cameras roll, you have to have this group of writers, directors, and actors that just gel, and it seems to literally be happening more and more.
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I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.
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Actually, I have my own charity that I started that helps supplement families with terminal children.
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When I hit the six-foot mark at thirteen, I noticed the majority of the population was in denial with regard to my athletic potential. The townspeople refused to believe that I couldn't play ball.
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In standup, it's just you. You're your own writer, your own critic, your own director, and it's never the same. You really don't always have it down. Your continue to learn, you continue to risk, and I really love it.