Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.
Quotes to Explore
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I grew up in an affluent suburban world and never worried about money until I'd grown up and found wonderfully original ways to screw up my life.
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I think every fight is different based on who is fighting.
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You have to be careful to react when you start to deviate from your course.
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I love to read. And right now I'm on my last hundred pages of 'The Corrections' by Jonathan Franzen, and I really enjoyed it. His writing is just - he's one of those writers where you just go, 'There are people just meant to be novel writers.'
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To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets.
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Education for all seems to be the product of a type of distributive justice that is in no way related to the individual.
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'The more expensive the better' is kind of the American way, and if you spent $600 for a sweatshirt, then that makes it better.
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I write synopses after the book is completed. I can't write it beforehand, because I don't know what the book's about. I invent something for my publisher because he asks for one, but the final book ends up very differently.
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It is the original idea that is unique, not the object itself.
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'Trapped in the Closet' is pretty much forever. I've got a leash on this thing now. I'm going to walk it.
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Since 1987, when I got my first one, I've been wearing a clock around my neck 24/7. You feel me? 24/7.
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My grandfather allowed as how I might even live long enough to see a Mars landing. I haven't, of course, except in fiction, including my own, and strongly doubt that I ever will.
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Any girl who likes watching movies would like to work in them and would want to do all of that. I'm also one of them. But people know me for badminton and love me for it. So I'd stick to it right now. But maybe after badminton, I'll think about it.
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I believe women are the glue of everything.
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I don't want to live in a nanny state where people are telling me where I can go and what I can do.
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Extremism is always potentially dangerous, but in Hungary's political reality, Jobbik and the other far-right parties have no chance of having a major influence.
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As you might have gathered, I prefer the honest, decent and genuinely accepting friends and family I have in the conservative world.
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I just had fun making the movies - just being on set - but I didn't really care about the acting part.
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To me, marriage has nothing to do with anybody but me and my wife.
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Go back to - my first campaign for the United States Senate. I got a bunch of people now talking about inequality. But back then they sure weren't. Back then, folks were saying I was preaching class warfare. Now it's suddenly their campaign platform.
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Leaving American disaster victims to languish is morally reprehensible and un-American.
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I was always daydreaming about singing in big productions on Broadway.
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I like girls who want to get up and dance and don't mind singing in front of my family - you know, silly stuff. Some girls won't eat in front of boys or won't go bowling. They just want to go out and look pretty. I don't really get that. I want someone who is up for having a good time.
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Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.
