Mallory Ortberg Quotes
After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites.
Quotes to Explore
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We're all concerned about sports rights being so expensive. Obviously, we are funded by the licence fee payers, so it's not always easy to compete with those who can get greater revenue.
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I firmly believe that one of the best kept secrets to soft and glowing skin is moisturisation.
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At 10, I heard Neil Diamond's 'Solitary Man' and it moved me so deeply I stood, frozen in place during school recess, feeling such empathy for the narrator in Diamond's masterpiece that my heart was smashed.
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I'm not politically correct.
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I feel most akin as an artist, in my life and my career, to Agatha Christie.
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As a liberal and progressive, I abhor the notion of conflict and bloodshed and very much want to find a diplomatic solution to the Iran nuclear issue.
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Once a food becomes off-limits, then it takes on this whole other personality. 'Forbidden' is more tempting. And it becomes something evil, but food is food. It's there to nourish your body.
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I always say you can never be extravagant with beauty. Beauty is God made real. Beauty is life.
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I try to avoid conflict. I don't want people to be unhappy.
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Few things are more important to our country's future than recruiting and keeping great teachers in our schools.
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I will say I am the sum of my books.
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Albania is going through a deep crisis because it lacks the rule of law, an independent judiciary, and freedom of the media. I don't think if we stop protesting the problem is solved.
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I will always do what I can to help others, but when I retire, I want to be a dad and a husband. I want a house and a dog in the yard. I want to have barbecues.
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On stage, you can use your emotions. It's the place where you can channel them. They have a purpose.
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There are no rules, no models; rather, there are no rules other than the general laws of Nature.
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I'm convinced many of America's heroes are public school teachers and administrators. Many of these people do what they do because of their faith.
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It's often out of my own insecurity. If I'm picky, it's for that reason. I want to be able to bring my best to the table. So if I'm not connecting to something, then I'm not gonna hold up my end of the bargain, and that's really embarrassing.
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I like other people's kids and being able to give them back when I want to.
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My advice to anybody, including myself, is if you're going through a bad period, and you just can't see the world's on your shoulders and no day is a good day, you're missing the whole point of the experience. And that's something dogs know from the moment they come bounding up to you as a puppy.
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People ask me, 'Isn't it scary living on your own?' but in this industry, being at events, doing interviews, and doing promotion and constantly chatting about yourself, sometimes it's really nice to just sit in silence or take a day where you can sleep in until 3 P.M. and then stay up as late as you like.
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Writing lyrics with your wife does lead to talking about yourselves a lot. But this is not an autobiographical account of my personal marriage. It's almost about the marriage of the band.
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In our culture, the shame about accidental pregnancy is inextricable from the shame about having had sex. That disapproval of sex is one reason our record with contraception is so poor. If you're not supposed to be sexual, you don't plan for sex. You cross your fingers and hope for the best.
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You don't fight radical conservatism with not-quite-so radical conservatism.
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After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites.
