Mallory Ortberg Quotes
After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites.

Quotes to Explore
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We're all concerned about sports rights being so expensive. Obviously, we are funded by the licence fee payers, so it's not always easy to compete with those who can get greater revenue.
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I firmly believe that one of the best kept secrets to soft and glowing skin is moisturisation.
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At 10, I heard Neil Diamond's 'Solitary Man' and it moved me so deeply I stood, frozen in place during school recess, feeling such empathy for the narrator in Diamond's masterpiece that my heart was smashed.
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I'm not politically correct.
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I feel most akin as an artist, in my life and my career, to Agatha Christie.
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I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.
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I don't drink hot beverages.
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As a liberal and progressive, I abhor the notion of conflict and bloodshed and very much want to find a diplomatic solution to the Iran nuclear issue.
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Once a food becomes off-limits, then it takes on this whole other personality. 'Forbidden' is more tempting. And it becomes something evil, but food is food. It's there to nourish your body.
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I always say you can never be extravagant with beauty. Beauty is God made real. Beauty is life.
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I try to avoid conflict. I don't want people to be unhappy.
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Few things are more important to our country's future than recruiting and keeping great teachers in our schools.
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I work on words, mostly, toward them being poetry or short stories, and then some of those become songs. They all find their place in the world, but they all start off in the same place. I'm always painting and drawing as well, and it's an ongoing creative assignment.
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I will say I am the sum of my books.
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Albania is going through a deep crisis because it lacks the rule of law, an independent judiciary, and freedom of the media. I don't think if we stop protesting the problem is solved.
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I will always do what I can to help others, but when I retire, I want to be a dad and a husband. I want a house and a dog in the yard. I want to have barbecues.
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On stage, you can use your emotions. It's the place where you can channel them. They have a purpose.
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There are no rules, no models; rather, there are no rules other than the general laws of Nature.
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Smart drafting is a wonderful thing. A smart free-agent signing is a wonderful thing. Smart trades are a wonderful thing, and that's a function of management.
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In the summer of 1776 our Founding Fathers sought to secure our independence and the liberties that remain the foundation of our nation today.
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Your health is what you make of it. Everything you do and think either adds to the vitality, energy and spirit you possess or takes away from it.
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The greatest texts, I think, first dazzle, then with careful rereading, they instruct. I have learned from Virginia Woolf more than I even know how to articulate.
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After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites.