Mallory Ortberg Quotes
We went to church twice a week. My parents were employed in ministry; we prayed before dinner. We rollerbladed in the summer. We were allowed to watch the 'Simpsons.' I fought with my younger brother over Legos.
Quotes to Explore
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I felt unhappy and trapped. If I left baseball, where could I go, what could I do to earn enough money to help my mother and to marry Rachel? The solution to my problem was only days away in the hands of a tough, shrewd, courageous man called Branch Rickey, the president of the Brooklyn Dodgers.
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I think my numbers speak for themselves.
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My parents taught me never to judge others based on whom they love, what color their skin is, or their religion.
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Likewise the leader of any state has to do the same, he has to enforce Shariah firmly, for he will be held in account later in the afterlife if he fails.
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I travel a lot, and that makes it harder to date, but it also opens up opportunities for me to meet people where I wouldn't normally meet them.
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I struggled with being a broke college graduate, and while all my friends were getting career jobs, I was working horrible part-time jobs. That's why now, even when I get tired, I think, 'This is what I asked for.'
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Poetry is an art, the easiest to dabble in, but the hardest to reach true excellence.
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The trade magazine and all was banned in my house. The first time I read a film magazine was when I was 18.
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The Internet allows the small guy a global marketplace. But technology is harmful in the sense that we get too much information from it. Because of the web we get 10 times the amount of noise we ever got, which makes harmful fallacies far more likely.
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I had my father, and he was an amazing man and an amazing role model, so I always wanted to mirror that.
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Citizens United opened a door that's frustrated anyone who's looking.
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There are so many elements that make a good film. You need a great director who's driving it.
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I'm obsessed with radio. It's a good start to Sunday morning.
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I didn't mean to live in Portland. It was kind of an accident - I mean, the equivalent of my car breaking down there and me being like, 'Well... I guess this is what I'm doing. I just can't find a better alternate.'
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After reading and studying and getting in touch with the amount of information that I had while I was researching to play Pablo, it just reinforced the idea that I had that the war on drugs is a big flop.
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
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Time is important to me because I want to sing long enough to leave a message. I'm used to singing in churches where nobody would dare stop me until the Lord arrives!
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All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together.
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It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of cats together to make a cow', and it's like, 'Why don't you just use a cow?'. For some reason that is novel - like, 'Oh, my guitar sounds like a piano and now if I can just get my piano to sound like my guitar'.
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The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
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I like Public Enemy a great deal.
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It was at St. Mary’s that I met and learned to love the greatest man I’ve ever known. His name was Brother Matthias. He was the father I needed. He taught me to read and write - and he taught me the difference between right and wrong.
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We went to church twice a week. My parents were employed in ministry; we prayed before dinner. We rollerbladed in the summer. We were allowed to watch the 'Simpsons.' I fought with my younger brother over Legos.
