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I dated a guy who played bad guys in movies all the time, and I think he was just a bad guy.
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Hugh Grant has that magic in real life, so when he's saying these lines, 'It's always been you,' it's just devastating.
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I don't know what I am. I guess you can call me a character actor in the sense that I'll never be an ingenue. You know, that's over. My shot was missed. I take a normal person and make them more of a character. I don't know what that would be called.
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Stand-up is a weird animal. There are people who really want to know what you think about things, your opinion on life. But then there are people who think you're just that beautician in 'Legally Blonde,' who doesn't have opinions on anything. Or that I'm Stifler's mom and hot for it all the time.
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The odd things that people say to you are so much more hilarious than what you can come up with.
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There's something about me that suggests I don't have an intelligent atom in me at all. So people say things to me that they wouldn't say to other people. Insulting, condescending things. They don't think I notice. But, of course, I'm taking it all in.
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I live in New Orleans part of the year, and it's a really fun eating town. I bought two homes there, one to live in and one as an investment. They love to eat, drink and dress up in costumes. There are so many reasons to dress up - Mardi Gras, Halloween, Southern Decadence.
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People have this view, 'Oh, you're in movies, your life is so glamorous' but it can really suck.
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You get the older version of women that you've played before.
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When I go on 'The View,' or any of those talk shows, you really don't get to say what you want to say.
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When it's going well, stand-up is the best thing in the world, but when it's not, it feels like all your toes are being pulled off one by one.
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Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing.
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I wasn't allowed to watch regular television when I was growing up, only PBS, so I watched 'Masterpiece Theatre' and a lot of Jane Austen. I loved stories where the girl is attracted to a man and it looks like it's not going to work out.
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I always get excited when I find out there's a sequel, because all the work is kind of done.
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When you leave L.A. and go to another city, guys are normal again. They like girls their own age.
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It ends up being a terrible movie if you try and please everyone.
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The standup thing has been really fun, really seeing the United States instead of reading about it.
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I've played a lot of weird women. I play crazy ladies, and I've played a lot of insane women and weird best friends that are not sexually desirable.
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Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn't about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can't go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I'm lucky my face can look so hideous.
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I wasn't funny. My brother was the funny one in the family.
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I have been able to sniff out a phony.
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I have a storage unit, as I moved out of a bigger house into a smaller house in L.A. I put all my stuff in a storage unit, where I have the most amazing collection of bad paintings, which took me 10 years to put together.
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There is something about a phony that creeps me out so much.
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When you're an actress, there are only a few times you can really get paid. One of them is doing a sequel. They can't fake you or hire another actor to play you.