Mallory Ortberg Quotes
In the hands of a passive-aggressive person who wants to abdicate responsibility for things, texting is a great tool. You can really go nuts.
Quotes to Explore
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I'm very self-critical.
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There's not a liberal America and a conservative America - there's the United States of America.
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I don't find an advantage or disadvantage in being a woman when reporting. What little advantages there might be in some instances is cancelled out by the basic lack of lavatories round the world for women.
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As a businessperson, I don't have the power to change the government. That is in the hands of the political leaders. However, as a taxpayer, we have the right to be critical of the government and demand change.
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I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.
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Drama is easier to do because you just have to have the emotion and not get caught acting, but comedy is much harder.
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If some student came up and wanted to know where to study painting, you'd want to suggest someplace, but there's no place. I wouldn't know where to send a student to study.
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Whether it's through introduction of the right gut bacteria or direct modification of the genes of cows and pigs, I think we're going to have to introduce something like this into our livestock - a way to consume the methane rather than releasing it.
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I would venture to warn against too great intimacy with artists as it is very seductive and a little dangerous.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks.
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I understand acting and I understand actors. I don't really understand the world of celebrity. That's just bizarre. Those sorts of elements I'm at sea with.
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All best-of lists should close with the amazing Kelly Link.
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I made a very slatternly mother, notably unkeen on housework, unaware that homes need to be cleaned now and then, and too often to be found with a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other.
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All that you may achieve or discover you will regard as a fragment of a larger pattern of the truth which from the separate approaches every true scholar is striving to descry.
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I'm really looking forward to working with Meghan Trainor because that's in the pipeline, and I'm eager for it to really happen.
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The vegetable life does not content itself with casting from the flower or the tree a single seed, but it fills the air and earth with a prodigality of seeds, that, if thousands perish, thousands may plant themselves, that hundreds may come up, that tens may live to maturity; that, at least one may replace the parent.
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Fear may very well be a caveman fear of the predator, of the giant lizard chasing them - maybe that's what Steven Spielberg connects with so well in Lost World.
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Today is either the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning. Today we are making history.
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The greatest problem in the world today is intolerance. Everyone is so intolerant of each other.
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The smell of moist earth and lilacs hung in the air like wisps of the past and hints of the future.
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When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
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It felt great knowing that I got to help the winningest class in Villanova history, to be able to be a part of that. It's something special.
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Housing was ground zero for the Great Recession. Between early 2006 and Obama's inauguration in 2009, average house prices fell by a third across the country. In certain areas, including cities as diverse as Akron, Orlando and Las Vegas, house prices fell by more than half.
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In the hands of a passive-aggressive person who wants to abdicate responsibility for things, texting is a great tool. You can really go nuts.
