Jasper Carrott Quotes
My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.
Quotes to Explore
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My parents did their best - that earns a lot of forgiveness. But they say children grow up in spite of their parents, and I think I did.
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Microcurrent devices are actually really good because they stimulate the muscles, but I'm not a big fan of injectables. You don't know what they'll do to your face in the long run.
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Nothing is over and done with. Nothing. Not even your malice.
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In politics people give you what they think you deserve and deny you what they think you want.
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While I played Ranji Trophy for five years, I used to be asked, 'When are you playing for the nation?' - a question which I didn't have any answer to. I kept playing before I got my first break in 1996; those five years were indeed frustrating.
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I'm a night owl for sure. I was born at 1 A.M., and that's the excuse I use.
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It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
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Secretly, I think everyone who makes fun of California really does want to be in California.
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I write synopses after the book is completed. I can't write it beforehand, because I don't know what the book's about. I invent something for my publisher because he asks for one, but the final book ends up very differently.
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What's lost in this whole debate, unfortunately, is that Social Security is not a giveaway where we take money to give to other people. It's a contract with the government... that's worked for 75 years. It's the most successful government program that we've ever had.
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I'm lucky because I don't like being in the sun a whole lot, just because the repercussions for me - I feel it, I go very red.
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The bad reviews get to me, believe me.
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God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to suffer no evil to exist.
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There is not love where there is no will.
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I get cyber-bullied all of the time. Everybody has something negative to say. It is so hurtful. So I think that it is really important for kids to know how to deal with it correctly because it can be a really dangerous situation.
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If Obamacare is so wonderful, why is it that its loudest advocates don't want to be subject to it?
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The Sino-Indian War in 1962 has fundamentally shaped and distorted Indian attitudes towards China. It also obscured a great deal of what has happened in China since 1962.
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Those market researchers... are playing games with you and me and with this entire country. Their so-called samples of opinion are no more accurate or reliable than my grandmother's big toe was when it came to predicting the weather.
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I hate it when politics play too large part in the sport.
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I'm a huge Rugby Union fan, which is a bit like American football - but tougher.
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Odd that the brain could function on its own, without acquainting him with its purposes, its reasons. But the brain was an organ, like the spleen, heart, kidneys. And they went about their private activities. So why not the brain?
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Now all my teachers are dead except silence.
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My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.
