Jasper Carrott Quotes

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

Jasper Carrott

• Comedy

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Quotes to Explore

• Eating ready-made meals is about being very passive, and actively cooking is something that nothing compares to.

  

  Yotam Ottolenghi
  • Cooking
  • Nothing
  • Eating

• In general, I think the world is a good place if you work hard, believe in yourself, have good intentions, and if you are kind to people, I believe that good things happen to you.

  

  Rachel Platten
  • People
  • World
  • Good

• If you want to put golf back on the front pages again, and you don't have a Bobby Jones or a Francis Ouimet handy, here's what you do: You send an aging Jack Nicklaus out in the last round of the Masters and let him kill more foreigners than a general named Eisenhower.

  

  Dan Jenkins
  • Want
  • Golf
  • Aging

• When you play for one run, that's usually all you get. I have nothing against the bunt in its place, but most of the time, that place is in the bottom of a long-forgotten closet.

  

  Earl Weaver
  • Time
  • Long
  • Play

• When you have all these traces of trash moving around, you can ask yourself how can we make the system more efficient. Then we can make better decisions. And perhaps we will not throw away the plastic bottles that go every day to the dump.

  

  Carlo Ratti
  • Day
  • Moving
  • Yourself

• When men are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • Men
  • Attention
  • Simple

• God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to suffer no evil to exist.

  

  Saint Augustine
  • Good
  • God
  • Evil

• Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

  

  Adam Carolla
  • Air
  • Story
  • Tell

• The virtues of science are skepticism and independence of thought.

  

  Walter Gilbert
  • Science
  • Thought
  • Skepticism

• South Africa is highly politicised; even small issues become politicised, and it becomes quite bitter.

  

  Damon Galgut
  • Small
  • Bitter
  • Africa

• Why has the Democratic Party become so arrogantly detached from ordinary Americans? Though they claim to speak for the poor and dispossessed, Democrats have increasingly become the party of an upper-middle-class professional elite, top-heavy with journalists, academics and lawyers.

  

  Camille Paglia
  • Why
  • Party
  • Speak

• I feel some need to represent where I'm from. But ultimately, I think my only real responsibility is to - as much as possible - interrogate my own truths. This is to say not merely writing what I think is true, but using the writing to turn that alleged truth over and over, to stress-test it, in the aim of producing something readable.

  

  Ta-Nehisi Coates
  • Writing
  • Real
  • Truth

• Life stands before me like an eternal spring with new and brilliant clothes.

  

  Carl Friedrich Gauss
  • Life
  • Spring
  • Brilliant

• I don't throw my clothes out after one wear. Shocking, I know.

  

  Dakota Fanning
  • Know
  • Clothes
  • Throw

• I'm a political conservative.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Political
  • Conservative

• Canada definitely has a strong program in women's boxing, and we're showing that women are capable, not just men.

  Mandy Bujold
  • Men
  • Women
  • Strong

• I don't have a real home. When I got 'Avatar,' I sold everything that I owned because I knew it was going to be a long journey. I've got two bags, and that was four years ago, and I've been working ever since, and I've still only got two bags - a bag of books and a bag of clothes. That's about it.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Long
  • Real
  • Home

• I don't happen to approve of plastic surgery. I think God put plastic surgeons on this earth for good reasons - people get burned or people might have a nose like Pinocchio and that has to be fixed. But to just chop yourself up to look a few years younger? You could come out looking like a Picasso picture.

  

  Iris Apfel
  • People
  • Up
  • Good

• Beneficence is a duty.

  

  Immanuel Kant
  • Duty
  • Beneficence

• Our influences are who we are. It's rare that anything is an absolutely pure vision; even Daniel Johnston sounds like the Beatles. And that's the problem with the bands I'm always asked about, the ones derivative of the early Seattle sound. They don't dilute their influences enough.

  

  Eddie Vedder Pearl Jam
  • Problem
  • Vision
  • Enough

• Are you in the car that's almost caused three accidents on North Vance?" Hannah asked. "Because I'm following you with my lights flashing, and whoever's driving isn't pulling over." "Let him go," Claire said. "Trust me. You aren't going to get him to stop." "Oh, God. It's Myrnin, isn't it?" "Tell that police lady to stop chasing me," Myrnin said, annoyed, from the front seat. "Really, I'm not THAT bad at this.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • God
  • Bad
  • Stop

• Nowadays, if you can't do it within the flow of the game you can't do it. It was a one-on-one incident, we're not out there to hurt someone.

  

  Eric Snow
  • Game
  • Hurt

• You do indeed have a past, but not now! And, yes, you have a future, but not now! You can consume your now with thoughts of 'then' and 'maybe,' but that will keep you from the inner peace you could experience.

  

  Wayne Dyer
  • Experience
  • Future
  • Past

• I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

  

  Jasper Carrott
  • Comedy