Jeff Dunham Quotes
I taught myself computer. Then Macintosh came along, and it became a really bad addiction. If I wasn't in show business, I'd have pocket protectors growing out of my chest. I do everything on it. It's kinda sick.

Quotes to Explore
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I love being a part of country music. I love going out and... doing things for the first time for country music. I always enjoy that.
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I'm interested not just in projects that I'll be starring in, but producing film and TV that's really quality and great for adults; and when I say 'great for adults,' it doesn't mean without humor, because I'm also interested in doing comedy.
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You must always do what you feel is right.
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Ideas emerge when a part of the real or imagined world is studied for its own sake.
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I used to think I had ambition... but now I'm not so sure. It may have been only discontent. They're easily confused.
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Socrates was famously executed for his philosophical and political beliefs. I wondered what would happen if you had a similar character, who was so relentlessly questioning of everything? In a modern society, would we be any more or any less tolerant of that kind of character?
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
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I'm the eldest at 51, and if the Stones can drag themselves around once more, then there's a few more albums in us.
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I am young, and I think all young guys would love to play a superhero - any superhero - it doesn't matter. I could be a superhero that would just turn into a big blob or something like that, but I could tell all the ladies, 'Hey, I am superhero!'
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The '80s made up for all the abuse I took during the '70s. I outlived all my critics. By the time I retired, everybody saw me as a venerable institution. Things do change.
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I believe that we live in a 'return to sender universe' - what you send out is exactly what you will get back.
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I just wanted to rollerblade at Union Square.
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People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way.
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I'm rebelling against being handed a career, like, 'You're the next this; you're the next that.' I'm not the next anything, I'm the first me. I can't be myself, I can't just be Idris Elba. But that's just the nature of the business.
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A man that ain't willin' to cheat for a poke don't want it bad enough.
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As President, I will end once and for all the use of taxpayer funds to promote the National Endowment for the Arts and other programs that subsidize amoral and degrading activities.
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The 1957 crisis in Little Rock, brought about by the desegregation of Little Rock Central High School, was a huge part of the march toward freedom and opportunity in America.
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I was the true future. I understood Communism better than they did.
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I felt as if we were two families: the older ones, who were away touring when I was at school and the younger ones. I was closer to my two younger sisters because of the nearness of our ages, but I feel I would have to have permission to say their names - they're very private that way.
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I think all decision making is very instinctive, in the end.
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There's no way I'm going to stand up for bad ingredients. We love seasonal ingredients. It's a false dichotomy to say that modern cooking is at odds with that, but some people want to have a great ingredient and no technique.
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[Government] is apprehended, not as a committee of citizens chosen to carry on the communal business of the whole population, but as a separate and autonomous corporation, mainly devoted to exploiting the population for the benefit of its own members.
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I taught myself computer. Then Macintosh came along, and it became a really bad addiction. If I wasn't in show business, I'd have pocket protectors growing out of my chest. I do everything on it. It's kinda sick.