Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
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I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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Hell, when I was in high school, a 'drive-by shooting' meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
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I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.
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If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
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I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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I love comedy. God has given me this platform.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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(To his wife) You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have 'testiculars'!