Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
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Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
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Hell, when I was in high school, a 'drive-by shooting' meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Women in bed are kind of like diesel engines. You know, it may take a little bit to get them going, but once you do, they can run a long, long time. Men, on the other hand, we're more like...bottle rockets. <makes noise of a bottle rocket launching and then exploding> Ooh. Aah. <snores>
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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I know God is real.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.