Jerry Coleman Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I found out early in life that I could hit a baseball farther than most players, and that's what I tried to do.
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For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.
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Even though my dad was a manager in the minor leagues, I still traveled around with him and saw it from the field out. Now, as an owner, you're kind of looking from the whole baseball activity from outside in, from a fan's perspective.
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In all my years of baseball, I have always expected to be traded. I never liked the idea.
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My first interest in baseball is the welfare of baseball itself. My second is the Cincinnati Reds, and my third is Warren Giles.
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It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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I knew that I was a gay boy fairly early; what was interesting to me was that my mother didn't know. She made me play baseball - I had no desire to do that. I said, 'Mom, I don't like direct sunlight, I don't like bugs, I don't like grass, and I'd rather be in the house playing with your fabric samples.'
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.
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Celebrate your successes. Find some humor in your failures.
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Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.
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If you're playing a good guy, you show some darkness. If you're playing a dark guy, you show something different, like humor, that will mix it up and hopefully surpass the audience's expectations. What I'm battling all the time is complacency in the audience. I try to bring a little mystery to what might happen because that engages people more.
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If you look at professional baseball in New York, you can get all 162 Yankee games on television anytime you want. But people still go to the ballpark because they are two different experiences. It's the same with film.
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Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament.
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I missed my home - like the physicality of my home, I missed my friends and my family mostly and just hanging out and being in your home country - culturally it feels right and that is what I miss.
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The accounting of the sacrifice is, more than anything else, the attitude toward war memorials in our time.
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I'm an American before any party preference.
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The most intelligent inspection of any number of fine paintings will not make the observer a painter, nor will listening to a number of operas make the hearer a musician, but good judges of music and painting may so be formed. Chess differs from these. The intelligent perusal of fine games cannot fail to make the reader a better player and a better judge of the play of others.
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National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.
