Jerry Coleman Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Venezuelan baseball is more aggressive, more passionate, more exciting. The fans are not the same as in your native country.
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I found out early in life that I could hit a baseball farther than most players, and that's what I tried to do.
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For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.
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Even though my dad was a manager in the minor leagues, I still traveled around with him and saw it from the field out. Now, as an owner, you're kind of looking from the whole baseball activity from outside in, from a fan's perspective.
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In all my years of baseball, I have always expected to be traded. I never liked the idea.
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My first interest in baseball is the welfare of baseball itself. My second is the Cincinnati Reds, and my third is Warren Giles.
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It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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I knew that I was a gay boy fairly early; what was interesting to me was that my mother didn't know. She made me play baseball - I had no desire to do that. I said, 'Mom, I don't like direct sunlight, I don't like bugs, I don't like grass, and I'd rather be in the house playing with your fabric samples.'
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.
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Celebrate your successes. Find some humor in your failures.
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The less lines, the better. I am the silent film actor, but not in a slapstick sort of way. Film is an image-based medium, so whatever you can say without the words is far more provocative and punctuating. If the lines are not funny or if they don't advance the story, sometimes it's hard. I hate talk in movies.
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Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.
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When he hit it, I knew that it was my ball. But I had to catch it and it seemed like the hardest catch of my life. I said to myself, 'Two hands, just like your dad taught you.'
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My fingers positively itched to drift at length along their spines, to arrive at one whose lure I could not pass, to pluck it down, to inch it open, then to close my eyes and inhale the soul-sparking scent of old and literate dust.
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Young gentlemen with literary aspirations usually start a new university magazine, which for wit and pungency is designed to eclipse all such previous efforts, and I was no exception in the matter of this popular gambit.
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We think that forgiveness is weakness, but it's absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive.
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All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
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National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.
