Jerry Coleman Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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The Midwest breeds funny, eccentric people, to varying degrees. You play shows not because you're expecting to get a record deal, but to do something fun outside of mowing lawns. Everything else is just gravy... Or mustard.
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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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In all my years of baseball, I have always expected to be traded. I never liked the idea.
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My first interest in baseball is the welfare of baseball itself. My second is the Cincinnati Reds, and my third is Warren Giles.
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Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom.
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I tried to get a baseball movie made a couple of years ago and I don't think it didn't happen because I was a woman, but because sports movie don't sell internationally.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.
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Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
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In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
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I always remember loving 'Even Stevens' - that show was so brilliant and funny and smart.
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Mencius said that human nature is good. I disagree with that.
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You doubt God? Well more to the point I credit God with the good sense to doubt me. What is mortality after all but divine doubt flashing over us? For an instant God suspends assent and poof! we disappear.
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What the Idaho Health Freedom Act says is that the citizens of our state won't be subject to another federal mandate or turn over another part of their life to government control.
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It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
