Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.
Quotes to Explore
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I know theater can improve the quality of people's lives, and I know theater can heal. I've worked as a doctor clown in a hospital for two years. I have seen sick kids and sad parents and doctors be lifted and transported in moments of pure joy. I know theater unites us.
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I feel comfortable at 154 lbs.
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Appropriate assessments are a crucial part of effectively educating students. But they only measure a narrow segment of what kids need to learn.
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George Bush doesn't care about black people.
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I think my mom exposed me to the concept of using your voice for anything you care about.
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I married my high school sweetheart, and I do have two kids.
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It was priceless. Being the UFC champion and having my kids in the Octagon, my wife, them holding the belt. That was like a movie.
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People say, 'How does having kids change your writing? Do you see the world through their eyes?' No - you just become a faster songwriter... In the old days, you'd be like, 'Oh I'm gonna work on this song for a few days.'
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Like many other kids, I liked watching anime.
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Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.
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The Russian customers don't feel very comfortable with online transactions.
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I know it can be difficult for parents, but I really do believe that kids need to play the predominant role in the choices that go into their own space.
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In reference to the Army and Navy, lately employed with so much distinction on active service, care shall be taken to insure the highest condition of efficiency; and in furtherance of that object, the Military and Naval Schools, sustained by the liberality of Congress, shall receive the special attention of the Executive.
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I've always said to my men friends, If you really care for me, darling, you will give me territory. Give me land, give me land.
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Kids hate anyone who is different.
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Being a mom makes you far more compassionate. You have more empathy for people, more love. I was always taught to say thank you, and I'm very grateful. And my kids have that quality, too.
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Between work and the kids, I never see anyone anymore. I mean, when I first met with ABC last spring, and they asked me what I'd been doing lately, I said: 'Gee, I have two kids. I'm usually covered with food, wrinkled and feel guilty all the time.
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Kids should be naughty and go through that rebellious phase I didn't have.
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[When I was a kid] I was a surgeon, amputating legs and arms of my paper dolls. And I had a little board with little tacks that I would tack them down to do this.
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When I come out to do my stand-up set, I pretty much get bombarded with lines from movies. You try to play off it a little bit, but that's what people want to see. Some clubs, the drunker the audience gets, the more they heckle.
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The man-child in American comedies is always glorified; they never really show the darker side.
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I'm going to defend the right of people to freely gather and discuss whatever they want to.
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I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.
