Jim Gaffigan Quotes
If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

Quotes to Explore
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If you want to steal a base, steal a base. Don't make the hitter swing at a bad pitch trying to protect the runner.
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'Empathy' is the latest code word for liberal activism, for treating the Constitution as malleable clay to be kneaded and molded in whatever form justices want. It represents an expansive view of the judiciary in which courts create policy that couldn't pass the legislative branch or, if it did, would generate voter backlash.
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I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.
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I want to do my hard dives really well, I want to see what my true potential in this sport really is. I want to grasp that.
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Getting old is a fascination thing. The older you get, the older you want to get.
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I love this planet... I want to see the environment preserved and I want to see the human race preserved. And I'd like to see everybody living decently in a more equitable, kind-hearted, thoughtful, generous world.
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The only thing I want to say is, I know I'm not Einstein, but I'm not the queen of the imbeciles either.
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People believe what they want to believe.
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We want to believe that we're invulnerable, and that people who get tricked deserve it. Well, they don't. And someday the arrogant types who mock the gullible are likely to get their turn to wear the dunce cap.
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I'm focused on energy only. And I know what I'm talking about. And I don't want to be distracted on other things.
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I pride myself on not being run of the mill. I don't want to be your umpteenth Fantine in 'Les Miz.'
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The worst thing would be for a Canada to develop a Hollywood. This is an industry we are going to have to fight to defend. We have to compete now so productions stay here. We don't want entertainment to be like the steel industry.
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My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen.
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I never really wanted kids. I didn't not want them, but motherhood just wasn't something that pulled at me.
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I want to be in 'Glee', but I'm told I'm not famous enough to be a cameo yet.
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I wouldn't dream of working on something that didn't make my gut rumble and my heart want to explode.
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Exceed your customer's expectations. If you do, they'll come back over and over. Give them what they want - and a little more.
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I'm the type of person who doesn't want to sit alone in a restaurant or bar.
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There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.
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I am not ashamed of anything - not my past, not my affairs, not my body, and most definitely not my desire.
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I have a phone obsession. It's really hard on set sometimes because I'll be checking Instagram, and then I have to remember, 'Oh, crap, I have to shoot a scene or rehearse.' Every now and then, I have to turn it off and live my life.
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Some of football's gaudiest displays of manliness are purely aesthetic. It's not what players do, it's how they look doing it.
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Growing up a preacher's kid wasn't the easiest thing. Everybody's always watching you to see how you'll behave - or misbehave.
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If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'