Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
Dana Carvey
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In a real sense, people who have read good literature have lived more than people who cannot or will not read. It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish.
S. I. Hayakawa
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Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There's been a couple of guys who have gotten me. I used to say Adrian Gonzalez. He's a good lefty hitter; he's hit a few home runs off of me. They were a couple of mistakes, so if you make your pitches, you're more likely to have a better outcome.
Jacob deGrom
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Salaries and wages must reflect the reality of the enterprise's economic performance; deviations from the planned performance should be reflected in pay.
Samora Machel
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The first Indy was definitely the one I remember. It's my favorite race I've ever done. It's the most memorable race I've ever done, for sure. Even more than when I won. I just remember everything about it.
Danica Patrick
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There is evidence that some of al Qaeda's nuclear efforts over the years met with swindles and false leads.
Barton Gellman
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We expect 'Narcos' will be an enormous success throughout everywhere in the world and maybe out-index in Latin America, given the Brazilian star and Brazilian director and heavy Latin American cast and that we shot the show entirely on location in Colombia.
Ted Sarandos
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At first, I was just trying to sound like DOOM and Eminem, and then I dug out my own voice, I guess.
Thebe Neruda Kgositsile
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To suggest that you can't be both a mother who is completely in love with her babies, and a professional who is tough and tenacious, is ridiculous.
Nancy Grace
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Since its very inception, Israel has been a threat.
Bashar al-Assad
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I've always had an interest in sports across the board.
Gabrielle Union
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I think the way IBM has embraced the open source philosophy has been quite astonishing, but gratifying. I hope they'll do very well with it.
Larry Wall
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You can become a winner only if you are willing to walk over the edge.
Damon Runyon
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There's a high head count on 'Homeland.'
Damian Lewis
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I like Kelly Rowland, I think that she's great. It's hard to come out of the group of Destiny's Child and still kick some butt.
Natalie Cole
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Biochemistry is the science of life. All our life processes - walking, talking, moving, feeding - are essentially chemical reactions. So biochemistry is actually the chemistry of life, and it's supremely interesting.
Aaron Ciechanover
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I didn't get anything published until I was thirty-three, and yet I'd written five novels and six or seven plays. The plays, I should point out, were dreadful.
Edmund White
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As I made my way through 'On Line,' the austere, stridently dogmatic, sometimes revelatory exhibition 'about line' at MoMA, I found myself thinking, 'Someone please wake me when the seventies are over!' In the empire of curators, the sun never sets on the seventies. It is the undead decade.
Jerry Saltz
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Music is like painting in sound. You take it into your inner heart and never lose it. It's eternally mysterious.
Van Cliburn
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I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too.
Randall Munroe
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Curiosity at work isn't a matter of style. It's much more powerful than that. If you're the boss, and you manage by asking questions, you're laying the foundation for the culture of your company or your group. You're letting people know that the boss is willing to listen.
Brian Grazer
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In silence and in meditation on the eternal truths, I hear the voice of God which excites our hearts to greater love.
C. S. Lewis
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I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim Gaffigan