Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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My mother is extremely interested in everything esoteric.
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I didn't know there was a dying-professor section at the bookstore.
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What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
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I don't really believe in the auteur theory.
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Thanks to my father, we were always in good horses.
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You think, 'You hired me because I'm a creative artist with a vision. Don't try and knock it out of me.'
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If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.
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And the success of the union movement, historically, has always been to benefit all working men and women - not just people who belong to the union.
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If you have drive and energy, everything is possible.
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I'm a lyric soprano. I can try to step outside that and do different kind of singing, but it's not something I can sustain over the long haul, and what is good for your voice is good for your career.
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Remain close to government and away from politics. It means deal more with the authorities. And less with individuals.
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Al Qaeda is on the run, partly because the United States is in Afghanistan, pushing on al Qaeda, and working internationally to cut off the flow of funds to al Qaeda. They are having a difficult time. They failed in this endeavor.
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I need to start honing in on projects that I want to devote my time to and not put my energies into the unattainable ones.
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When I'm 80 years old, I don't know what I want to be remembered for.
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Australians were unique due to our corals, our apples, our gum trees and our kangaroos.
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Be honest, be nice, be a flower not a weed.
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To other Canadians who are on journeys to defeat cancer and to live their lives, I say this: please don't be discouraged that my own journey hasn't gone as well as I had hoped. You must not lose your own hope.
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The beauty of Rome is that you can wander into a pizzeria just about anywhere and get a real Italian pizza that's thankfully worlds away from the Super Supreme I used to order at Pizza Hut as a kid.
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Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.
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Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning.
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You think you can get away, but you can't. I'll follow you home and I'll shout jokes through your letterbox.
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One of the pleasures of writing novels is that my characters usually do something. But in real life we often stay locked in a situation that we know is painful or wrong.
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
