Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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My mother is extremely interested in everything esoteric.
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I didn't know there was a dying-professor section at the bookstore.
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What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
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You don't need to wear Spanx if you buy my clothes. The dress, the trousers, the pencil skirt - they should do the work.
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I don't really believe in the auteur theory.
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Thanks to my father, we were always in good horses.
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You think, 'You hired me because I'm a creative artist with a vision. Don't try and knock it out of me.'
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If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.
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And the success of the union movement, historically, has always been to benefit all working men and women - not just people who belong to the union.
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I have a dark sense of humor.
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If you have drive and energy, everything is possible.
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I'm a lyric soprano. I can try to step outside that and do different kind of singing, but it's not something I can sustain over the long haul, and what is good for your voice is good for your career.
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Remain close to government and away from politics. It means deal more with the authorities. And less with individuals.
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Al Qaeda is on the run, partly because the United States is in Afghanistan, pushing on al Qaeda, and working internationally to cut off the flow of funds to al Qaeda. They are having a difficult time. They failed in this endeavor.
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I need to start honing in on projects that I want to devote my time to and not put my energies into the unattainable ones.
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When I'm 80 years old, I don't know what I want to be remembered for.
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Australians were unique due to our corals, our apples, our gum trees and our kangaroos.
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Be honest, be nice, be a flower not a weed.
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Having failed, do you accept failure, saying only: Well, it is so. I will turn to other things? When night comes, do you accept the blackness of it, saying only: Well, it is so. I will turn and wait for morning? Or do you go on striving to light a candle against that dark however often the wind blows out the flame, however often the night returns?
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The most important skill of the future will be the ability to learn and adapt. You need to be resourceful, keep your eyes open for advances coming out of nowhere, and embrace the new opportunities as they emerge. You need to be able to collaborate with others and build relationships. You need to be able to share ideas, inspire, and motivate.
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She told her, while she kept it, 'Twould make her amiable and subdue my father Entirely to her love, but if she lost it Or made a gift of it, my father's eye Should hold her loathed and his spirits should hunt After new fancies.
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
