Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
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Obviously, we're focused on the Winter Classic.
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I love to push myself.
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First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.
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People who make no mistakes lack boldness and the spirit of adventure. They are the brakes on the wheels of progress.
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I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
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Look at Jessica Simpson. She's famous for being dumb. I guess it started with Marylyn Monroe, and she actually wasn't that dumb, but that's how she was perceived - and that's what got popular.
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Growing up, I had a very happy childhood, with two parents who are still very much together.
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I very much want to be in the business of creating content, of doing stories all over the world rather than figuring out what the business model is for 'Newsweek' on the iPad, although that's very important work as well.
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Auditions make me nervous; any time I have to perform, I get stage fright.
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I have five horses. My first was a professional jumper named Santos. I got him when I was 18.
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When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response.
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Everybody ought to have a lower East Side in their life.
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Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
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I'm not an overnight sensation. I'm a Texan. And I'm a Texas success story. I am the epitome of hard work and optimism.
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There are many things that matter much more than an editor's gender in shaping the direction of the leadership.
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Jobs has within him sort of this conflict, but he doesn't quite see it as a conflict between being hippie-ish and anti-materialistic but wanting to sell things like Wozniak's board. Wanting to create a business.
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During the election, I had three male opponents and we went into a runoff. The front runner for the men was a native of Dallas who had run at large before, but I had a higher profile than him from my community service.
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I don't believe in a chronological way of doing things.
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People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we want to do is pave the way for a President Bieber.
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Everybody thinks people who promote PETA don't eat meat, but I think animals were made to be eaten.
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I'm probably the least cerebral guy you're ever going to meet as a writer.
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Everyone deserves love and appreciation. If there is someone in the world whom we do not love, it is our blessing to work this out within ourselves. A very key spiritual principle, echoed in the Cayce readings as well as mainstream psychology, is that whatever we see in others that makes us angry, sad or jealous is a reflection of an issue we have in ourselves. If we can learn to love, respect and forgive ourselves, then we will not be angered and offended by what we see in others.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
