Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
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Obviously, we're focused on the Winter Classic.
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I love to push myself.
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First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.
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People who make no mistakes lack boldness and the spirit of adventure. They are the brakes on the wheels of progress.
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I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
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Look at Jessica Simpson. She's famous for being dumb. I guess it started with Marylyn Monroe, and she actually wasn't that dumb, but that's how she was perceived - and that's what got popular.
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Growing up, I had a very happy childhood, with two parents who are still very much together.
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I very much want to be in the business of creating content, of doing stories all over the world rather than figuring out what the business model is for 'Newsweek' on the iPad, although that's very important work as well.
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I have five horses. My first was a professional jumper named Santos. I got him when I was 18.
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When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response.
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Everybody ought to have a lower East Side in their life.
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Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
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I'm not an overnight sensation. I'm a Texan. And I'm a Texas success story. I am the epitome of hard work and optimism.
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There are many things that matter much more than an editor's gender in shaping the direction of the leadership.
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Jobs has within him sort of this conflict, but he doesn't quite see it as a conflict between being hippie-ish and anti-materialistic but wanting to sell things like Wozniak's board. Wanting to create a business.
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During the election, I had three male opponents and we went into a runoff. The front runner for the men was a native of Dallas who had run at large before, but I had a higher profile than him from my community service.
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One of the great things about music is that it has the capability of time travel - you smell a certain smell in the room and it takes you back to your childhood. I feel like music is able to do that, and it happens to me all the time.
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I was 19 when I discovered Pilates, and I'm still doing it. It's the workout my body really responds to. It's all about alignment, elongating your spine, and strengthening your core. It makes me feel my strongest.
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I remember trying to be funny, and both of my parents were terribly funny. My father was also very dignified, but my mother was an absolute ding-a-ling, a ripper.
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Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'
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A lot of the stuff that I do with Betty is in the eyes. A lot of the feelings that I evoke with her are unspoken, so that's been fun to play with.
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Social Security is the only thing most Americans can count on to keep them out of poverty during retirement.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
