Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Quotes to Explore
-
I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
-
Obviously, we're focused on the Winter Classic.
-
I love to push myself.
-
First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.
-
People who make no mistakes lack boldness and the spirit of adventure. They are the brakes on the wheels of progress.
-
I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
-
Look at Jessica Simpson. She's famous for being dumb. I guess it started with Marylyn Monroe, and she actually wasn't that dumb, but that's how she was perceived - and that's what got popular.
-
Growing up, I had a very happy childhood, with two parents who are still very much together.
-
I very much want to be in the business of creating content, of doing stories all over the world rather than figuring out what the business model is for 'Newsweek' on the iPad, although that's very important work as well.
-
Auditions make me nervous; any time I have to perform, I get stage fright.
-
I have five horses. My first was a professional jumper named Santos. I got him when I was 18.
-
When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response.
-
Everybody ought to have a lower East Side in their life.
-
Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
-
I'm not an overnight sensation. I'm a Texan. And I'm a Texas success story. I am the epitome of hard work and optimism.
-
There are many things that matter much more than an editor's gender in shaping the direction of the leadership.
-
Jobs has within him sort of this conflict, but he doesn't quite see it as a conflict between being hippie-ish and anti-materialistic but wanting to sell things like Wozniak's board. Wanting to create a business.
-
During the election, I had three male opponents and we went into a runoff. The front runner for the men was a native of Dallas who had run at large before, but I had a higher profile than him from my community service.
-
I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child... I don't think that's why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they've never copped to it.
-
When you're with another actor who's also been through five hours of prosthetic makeup, and you're eating another person's neck, and fake blood is being spurted out at you for two minutes, it's incredibly fun, and you're in character for that time. You can't really believe that that's your job.
-
I've been bisexual for as long as I can remember. I remember being made fun of in junior high for that. It was something that was shameful, and it really shouldn't be.
-
Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
-
Fixing a broken immigration system. Protecting our kids from gun violence. Equal pay for equal work, paid leave, raising the minimum wage. All these things still matter to hardworking families; they are still the right thing to do; and I will not let up until they get done.
-
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
