Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Quotes to Explore
-
I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
-
Obviously, we're focused on the Winter Classic.
-
I love to push myself.
-
First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.
-
People who make no mistakes lack boldness and the spirit of adventure. They are the brakes on the wheels of progress.
-
I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
-
Look at Jessica Simpson. She's famous for being dumb. I guess it started with Marylyn Monroe, and she actually wasn't that dumb, but that's how she was perceived - and that's what got popular.
-
Growing up, I had a very happy childhood, with two parents who are still very much together.
-
I very much want to be in the business of creating content, of doing stories all over the world rather than figuring out what the business model is for 'Newsweek' on the iPad, although that's very important work as well.
-
Auditions make me nervous; any time I have to perform, I get stage fright.
-
I have five horses. My first was a professional jumper named Santos. I got him when I was 18.
-
When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response.
-
Everybody ought to have a lower East Side in their life.
-
Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
-
I'm not an overnight sensation. I'm a Texan. And I'm a Texas success story. I am the epitome of hard work and optimism.
-
There are many things that matter much more than an editor's gender in shaping the direction of the leadership.
-
Jobs has within him sort of this conflict, but he doesn't quite see it as a conflict between being hippie-ish and anti-materialistic but wanting to sell things like Wozniak's board. Wanting to create a business.
-
During the election, I had three male opponents and we went into a runoff. The front runner for the men was a native of Dallas who had run at large before, but I had a higher profile than him from my community service.
-
One of the great things about music is that it has the capability of time travel - you smell a certain smell in the room and it takes you back to your childhood. I feel like music is able to do that, and it happens to me all the time.
-
With the transcendent or supernatural, they help us contextualize our own lives while we are here on this earth. On a narrative level, as a storyteller, they are a wonderful tool and technique by which to explore those hopes, those fears, those existential dilemmas that we all face from time to time.
-
My acting started with musicals in elementary school, so singing is something I've always done, never done professionally - so you're not going to find me on "The Voice" or anything - but it is something that I have a lot of fun doing, and can do well enough to keep up with people in shows.
-
The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you.
-
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
