Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"

Jim Gaffigan

• People
• Funny
• Baby
• Humor
• Teenager

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I'm not as goal obsessed as I am process obsessed.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • Goal
  • Process
  • Obsessed

• I like to do the splits onstage.

  

  Gavin DeGraw
  • Like
  • Onstage
  • Splits

• I made my parents crazy. As a kid, I redecorated my bedroom every month. I would literally save my allowance and go buy things.

  

  Nate Berkus
  • Parents
  • Crazy
  • Month

• My mom says that when I was a little kid, I always used to say I wanted to be an actor, but I don't remember that.

  

  Aaron Douglas
  • Remember
  • Mom
  • Always

• I look at it this way: the WNBA is 13 years young. I think eventually women will get to that point, maybe in my daughter's generation, where their salaries will be similar to men's. But we're still starting off, like, where the NBA was back in the 1950s.

  

  Candace Parker
  • Men
  • Women
  • Daughter

• I go to Malawi twice a year. It's where two of my children were adopted from, and I have a lot of projects there that I go and check up on and children who I look after. It's sort of a commitment that I've made to this country and the hundreds of thousands of children there who have been orphaned by AIDS.

  

  Madonna Breakfast Club
  • Up
  • Country
  • Children

• In a lot of ways, I envy someone like Omar Sharif who lived in a hotel for decades.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • Envy
  • Lived
  • Hotel

• Gun owners and non-gun owners alike agree on expanding background checks, making gun trafficking a serious crime with stiff penalties, making it illegal for all stalkers and all domestic abusers to buy guns, and expanding mental health resources so the mentally ill find it easier to receive treatment than to buy firearms.

  

  Gabrielle Giffords
  • Health
  • Serious
  • Gun

• Very ambitious startups often take a long time to work - or sometimes they take a very long time to look ambitious.

  

  Sam Altman
  • Time
  • Work
  • Long

• I've done some music for films and I really enjoy doing it.

  

  Ikue Mori
  • Music
  • Done
  • Enjoy

• Almost immediately, I remember right when Tikrit even fell, a few days after Baghdad fell, there was talks of insurgency, there was talks of jihad and of resisting the American occupiers, and slowly this turned into an organized movement.

  

  Farnaz Fassihi
  • Remember
  • American
  • Right

• 'Yela' represents hunger, life, light, fire, power. 'Wolf' speaks to my fighting spirit. The soul I put in my music.

  

  Yelawolf
  • Life
  • Music
  • Power

• I'd probably describe my sense of humor as 'twisted,' I guess. It's not hard to make me laugh, especially when I'm surrounded by my close friends, especially my bandmates.

  

  Mac DeMarco
  • Friends
  • Humor
  • Laugh

• When we're back home, I feel pretty domesticated.

  

  Washed Out
  • Home
  • Pretty
  • Feel

• Establishing the rights for gay people to be married would cost the Australian government nothing financially and would gain for you worldwide respect from people like us and, of course, would change lives enormously - the lives of gay people and of their friends and of their families and therefore of Australia as a whole.

  

  Ian Mckellen
  • People
  • Friends
  • Change

• Growing up, there were TV shows that were very funny but very traditional. Classic things like 'Fawlty Towers,' obviously, and 'Blackadder' were pretty traditionally shot. And then there were the ones that start to break the mold or be really ambitious. The ones that spring particularly to mind would be 'The Young Ones.'

  

  Edgar Wright
  • Up
  • Mind
  • Pretty

• A revolution is an idea which has found its bayonets.

  

  Napoleon Bonaparte
  • Idea
  • Revolution
  • Found

• He vanished to the public in order to materialize for his family.

  

  Lance Morrow
  • Family
  • Order
  • Public

• I can't say no to my girls. They melt my heart. I'm very grateful for my family.

  

  Eric Dane
  • Family
  • Heart

• Every actor. every director, everybody needs an Oscar. You have to have that little statue in Hollywood or else you are nothing.

  

  Rita Hayworth
  • Actor
  • Hollywood
  • Director

• The only way I'll get you is to get you in bed.

  

  Ringo Starr The Beatles

• I always wish I'd had more mentors, better mentors, wiser mentors, people who were proper professional working musicians to guide me as I was coming up.

  

  Keith Urban
  • People
  • Up
  • Wish

• I only say this because a lot of people seem to think that if you're a musician you want to be a celebrity. But most musicians in the world aren't celebrities, and pretty much everything about the concept of 'celebrity' is a complete load of bollocks anyhow.

  

  Brooke Fraser Hillsong Worship
  • People
  • Celebrity
  • Musician

• I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • People
  • Funny
  • Baby