Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.
Quotes to Explore
-
If a writer is to tell his own story - tell it slowly, and as if it were a story about other people - if he is to feel the power of the story rise up inside him, if he is to sit down at a table and patiently give himself over to this art - this craft - he must first have been given some hope.
-
I did enjoy football, but the injury factor for me, you know, I had so many issues. I don't know how long my career would've been.
-
I love to play chess. The last time I was playing, I started to really see the board. I don't mean just seeing a few moves ahead - something else. My game started getting better. It's the patterns. The patterns are universal.
-
I am trying to do my own thing, but there will always be comparisons, even if I don't agree with them.
-
We have to tell people who need help that it's OK to ask for it.
-
His last 2 shows in the U.S. were in Chicago and St. Louis. I don't know what made me go on the trip with him, but I'm so very glad I did. They were two of the finest concerts I've ever seen.
-
It is from weakness that people reach for dictators and concentrated government power. Only the strong can be free. And only the productive can be strong.
-
I love singing and would love to record an album at some point.
-
The squandering of oil and gas is associated with one of the greatest tragedies, not in the least resolved, which is suffered by humankind: climate change.
-
At the same time, I would add that the American people have a lot of courage.
-
One-year-olds learn concealment. Five-year-olds lie outright: they manipulate via flattery. Nine-year-olds - masters of the cover-up. By the time you enter college, you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions.
-
We do a disservice to society if we ignore the evidence which shows that stable families tend to be associated with better outcomes for children.
-
If the people in Britain knew the nature and disposition of the New England people as well as we do they would not find so many friends in England as I suppose they do.
-
I would like to be known for honest, relatable writing and stories that that are real. There's just this shift I think is happening in a lot of society right now where being your most real self, however embarrassing or vulnerable or weird that is, is the coolest. I feel like that's what Lena Dunham's about and Amy Schumer's about.
-
I like being infamous. I think it is safe being a cult.
-
With me being form the South, I wanted to make this album like a G Unit.
-
I'm 100 percent convinced that Pablo Escobar was a human being. And he was a very interesting one. For sure, he was a very, very, very mean and awful human being in many senses, but he wasn't an alien. He was a person. He had friends; people laughed at his jokes. And he was a very contradictory person as well.
-
My house has too many distractions. There's the email. There's checking my Amazon ranking. I know I'm the only author who's ever done that, ever. There's the fax. Too many distractions. I like to go out and write.
-
I've been in a gym probably nine days of my life.
-
One of the things that would be great is to some day have so many women comedy writers that we wouldn't say there's just one type of female humor. There's lots.
-
If there's one kind of music that makes somebody happy, how is that a bad thing? And if there's another kind that makes somebody else happy, how is that a bad thing? I don't get why anybody cares about what they don't like so much.
-
Meeting Oprah Winfrey, I cried like a baby. Meeting Steven Spielberg, I cried like a baby. Meeting Denzel Washington, I gushed like a crazy woman. If I don't get excited or star struck by someone I've been dying to meet, it's time to retire.
-
First of all, the most important, that is to learn everything good that has survived from other times, and carefully to watch the bad - and throw it out.
-
Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.
