Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction. ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• Our franchises have never been healthier. Our league, in terms of its economic footing, has never been healthier.

  

  Gary Bettman
  • Never
  • Economic
  • Been

• I think there's no greater healing power than music.

  

  Irvin Mayfield
  • Music
  • Power
  • Healing

• Every member in Congress has a seat, and they deserve a seat at the table.

  

  Dan Webster
  • Deserve
  • Congress
  • Table

• I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.

  

  Vince Lombardi
  • Good
  • Great
  • Believe

• Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time. The best management of our time thus becomes linked inseparably with the best utilization of our efforts.

  

  Ted Engstrom
  • Time
  • Best
  • Effort

• I always had dreams as a kid. I definitely sat at home and watched the Oscars every year and got emotional every year at everyone's speeches.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Home
  • Emotional
  • Dreams

• While cheap products are exported to western countries, the waste is dumped mostly in China's back yard, contaminating its air, water, soil and seas.

  

  Ma Jun
  • Water
  • Air
  • China

• I never thought about having a daughter, and then I had a daughter, and it was a remarkable thing. It was very different from having a son and your response to it. With a son, it's much more complex. And it's probably because of my stuff in the past. With a daughter, I was surprised at how simple it is.

  

  Sam Shepard
  • Different
  • Past
  • Simple

• Public opinion is a permeating influence, and it exacts obedience to itself; it requires us to drink other men's thoughts, to speak other men's words, to follow other men's habits.

  

  Walter Bagehot
  • Men
  • Words
  • Opinion

• Acting was something I had to do.

  

  Nancy Marchand
  • Acting
  • Something
  • Had

• I went to boarding school, and what that teaches you is to cope emotionally at a young age and to suppress a lot of emotion. Being in the army is, in a way, similar.

  

  Damian Lewis
  • School
  • Age
  • Army

• Fashion has this youth mania. But 70-year-old ladies don't have 18-year-old bodies, and 18-year-olds don't have a 70-year-old's dollars.

  

  Iris Apfel
  • Fashion
  • Youth
  • Dollars

• I love to see a wood full of bluebells. Growing up in the Kent countryside, I have special memories of this brief annual spectacle.

  

  Gary Hume
  • Memories
  • Special
  • Spectacle

• In spite of holidays when I was free to visit London theatres and explore the countryside, I spent four very miserable years as a colonial at an English school.

  

  Patrick White
  • School
  • Free
  • English

• Reading about Queen Victoria has been a passion of mine since, as a child, I came across Laurence Housman's play 'Happy and Glorious,' with its Ernest Shepard illustrations.

  

  A. N. Wilson
  • Happy
  • Reading
  • Passion

• I'm not cynical.

  

  Laura Schlessinger
  • Cynical

• It's frightening how easy it is to commit murder in America. Just a drink too much. I can see myself doing it. In England, one feels all the social restraints holding one back. But here, anything can happen.

  

  W. H. Auden
  • America
  • Myself
  • Doing

• I am fascinated with religion or things that people believe in and question that. I think it's interesting.

  

  Patrick Wilson
  • Interesting
  • Question
  • Religion

• My standards are higher than they used to be, I think. They don't necessarily have to make sense, but I certainly work on them a lot harder now -- partly because I do them on the computer, and I print them out and fix them, and print them and fix them over and over again, whereas in the early days I used to just scratch down a few things on a piece of paper.

  

  Dean Wareham
  • Work
  • Thinking
  • Computer

• They’ll never know about this decision. They’ll never know how much their friendship meant to me. But I’ll know, and that’s enough.

  

  Brandon Mull
  • Know
  • Decision
  • Friendship

• I actually like snakes! When I was young, I was a boy scout nature camp counselor, and one of our projects was collecting snakes and creating an environment for them, so I'm quite familiar with snakes and think they're fantastic creatures.

  

  Harrison Ford
  • Nature
  • Think
  • Environment

• Deep in the secret chambers of my heartI muse my life-long hate, and without flinchI bear it nobly as I live my part.

  

  Claude McKay
  • Life
  • Long
  • Live

• Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction. ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Believe
  • Thinking
  • Writing