Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family.

Quotes to Explore
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I'm not religious. I was as a child, and like lots of people, I suppose, rapidly became very disillusioned with the whole thing. I also feel that organised religion has caused far more problems than it has solved.
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We learn martial arts as helping weakness. You never fight for people to get hurt. You're always helping people.
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We do high heels, and people know us for that, but the idea of wearing a flat from day to night feels special.
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When something happens far back in the past, people often can't recall exact details. Blame depends upon point of view. There may be a villain, but reality is frustrating because it's often ambiguous.
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When you look at the roles I've done and the roles coming up, they're all strong. I guess I'm more drawn to that than that kind of submissive role females can be categorised as.
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Second place is just the first place loser.
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Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.
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I want to drink champagne from ladies' shoes.
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A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.
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I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times.
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I think R. Kelly's range is so vast and broad that in order to stimulate himself creatively as an artist, he has to step so, so far outside the box, or else he feels like he's not challenging himself.
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Long Kiss Goodnight has a huge cult following. They could make another version of that movie right now and make a lot of money.
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My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.
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When the British became Christian, Christianity in no way altered their political organisation.
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Hungary is, in a word, in a state of WAR against the Hapsburg dynasty, a war of legitimate defence, by which alone it can ever regain independence and freedom.
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Yes, my parents are strict about me having a childhood. I go ice skating and sledding, and swimming in the summer.
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When you're a big money earner and your husband isn't, it makes you question how feminine you are. I felt I was less feminine than if I was a supporting wife, or a second fiddle, or 'Mrs. Higgins.'
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I know a lot of people who use the Internet really wisely. It enriches their lives in some way.
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Native trees are so important to our ecosystem.
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Some stories, my property, have been stolen. Someone's appropriated them. It's an illicit act. It's unfair. Suppose you had a coat you liked, and somebody went into your closet and stole it. That's how I feel.
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I don't use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom.
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I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
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The potential for regional conflict in the absence of an internationally active America is real.
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I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family.